It is such a true statement most people do not realize that it is happening to them.
I stumbled across this article by accident. It fits in extremely well into this year's personal motto: "No Excuses. No Regrets."
The BI author's proposition is that the cowardly mind’s excuses and rationalizations is self programmed because the mind wants comfort, and is afraid of discomfort and change. The mind is used to its comfort cocoon, and anytime we try to push beyond that comfort zone very far or for very long, the mind tries desperately to get back into the cocoon. At any cost, including our long-term health and happiness.
The article then details 14 "mind" excuses which stops a person from acting outside the sheltered norms:
1. I can’t do it
If something seems too hard, we default to decide not to change. It is a manifestation that we don’t believe in ourselves.
2. He/she can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me
We look for reasons other people can do or accomplish things but we can’t — a negative reinforcement that we are somehow "different" for an unknown reason.
3. I need my ___
W fill in the blank with a variety of crutches: I need my coffee, my cheese, my soda, my TV shows, my car, my shoe collection … these are things we convince ourselves we can’t live without, so we can’t make a change like exercising, eating healthier, starting a hobby, reading a long book, taking a vacation, or simplifying our lives. If one really examines those excuses, they are justifications for all lies. The only things you really need are basic food, water, clothing, shelter, and other people for social needs. Everything else is not a real need.
4. Life is meant to be enjoyed
Everyone agrees with this statement but the problem is this is used to justify all kinds of crappy behavior. Might as well scarf down junk food because it tastes good, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right? No. You can do without junk food and still enjoy life. You can exercise and enjoy it. You can give up pretty much anything and still enjoy life, if you learn to see almost any activity as enjoyable.
5. I need comfort
As young children, they cling to a security blanket because it gives them the sense of relief and comfort. However, as we grow older we have can push ourselves into uncomfortable situations so that we can learn to believe in ourselves.
6. I don’t know how
This may be true, but everyone can learn. Start with a little at a time, and learn how to deal with this new change. If the problem is that you are a social wall flower, you can do some research online. There are various websites that examine social anxiety. Ask people how they dealt with it. This is easily overcome with a little effort and practice. In fact, if you do it now, and learn a little at a time, then you’ll be able to do away with this pesky excuse.
7. I can do it later
You can always put off to tomorrow what you can accomplish today. But why should your later self be more disciplined than your current self? A habit of procrastination and actually making is less likely that your future self will be more disciplined. Unless there’s something more urgent or important that you need to do … don’t let yourself slide just because you don’t feel like it. It will lead to more stress and pressure as you create a personal traffic jam of uncompleted tasks or goals.
8. One time won’t hurt
This is so tempting, because it’s kind of true — one time won’t hurt. Assuming, that is, that it’s only one time. One bite of chocolate cake, one missed workout, one time procrastinating instead of doing work. Unfortunately, it’s never actually just one time. One time means your brain now knows it can get away with this excuse, and the next “one time” leads to another, until you’re not actually sticking to something.
9. I don’t feel like it
Feelings can be a defense mechanism. There is an internal resistance to doing something that we think is hard, difficult, new, or potentially hurtful. Letting the excuse of “I’ll do it when feel like it” dictate your life means you’ll never go out and meet new people, learn about new things, write that great American novel you dreamed of as a kid, never build a business, never create anything great, never have healthy habits. It is easy to create a plan that’s doable, and then execute it.
10. I’m tired
Everyone gets tired on a daily basis. It is the biological cycle. We allow that cycle to macro-manage tasks into pigeon holes. When you get home from a long day at work (they call it work for a reason), you may not feel like cooking, cleaning or exercising. You would rather "rest," but this is usually the mind trying to weasel out of something uncomfortable. There’s a difference between being exhausted and needing some rest, and being the little tired we all feel every afternoon. One way to combat this is to multitask - - - for example, exercise while watching TV. You may trick your mind that watching TV is relaxing while you accomplish something important off the couch.
11. I deserve a reward/break
Daily life presents us with many risk and reward situations. But not every completed tasks deserve a reward. But if you don't curb this rationalization your rule, you’ll always be on a break. You’ll always be giving yourself rewards, and never sticking to the original plan to get a more meaningful reward such as a job well done is its own reward.
12. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop?
This is our mind wanting to run from discomfort, and of course it’s true — it would be nice to stop if you’re pushing into a discomfort zone for too long. The thing is, the implication is that it would be better to stop, because it would be nice … but that’s a lie. It would be easier to stop, but often it’s better to continue pushing through to the end goal.
13. The result you’re going for isn’t important
Your mind is already sabotaging a goal that you have set for yourself. If you stick with a process that will be better for you in the long run, then you will be better off. But if you let yourself go just because you are uncomfortable and at this moment care more for your comfort than the goal you set out for, you’ll have lots of problems. The goal isn’t important, but learning to stick to things when you’re uncomfortable is extremely important. For example, if you’re trying to run a marathon, in the middle of it you may think “It’s not that important that I finish this" because of the pain and effort required to finish. And while the result might not be that important, the truth is that the process and the goal is very important to bolster one's self-worth, self-esteem and peace of mind.
14. I’m afraid
Now, this is the most honest excuse there is — most of us don’t want to admit we’re afraid to pursue something difficult. But it’s also a weaselly way out of discomfort — just because you’re afraid doesn’t mean you can’t do something. For example, Deipnophobia is the fear of dinner party conversations. How do you overcome that fear? You go to parties where you know a few good friends and learn to mingle. When trying something new, everyone worries about failure. The fear of failure is an early learned experience. Failure has negative connotations in society. But some of the smartest, richest and happy people on Earth will tell you that before success they failed over and over again. It is learning from failure that breeds success. And confidence is the one trait that can extinguish many or all of the mind excuses which holds us back.
