HAPPINESS TRADE-OFFS

One of the main themes of life is finding and securing happiness.

But in the quest for happiness, something usually has to give.

In LOST, various main characters were searching for happiness, but most never found it.

For example, Rose and Bernard met late in life. It was a godsend for Bernard. Rose was his world. Until she got cancer. He panicked and tried to find any cure. That led to a strain in their relationship. Rose was a realist. Bernard was an optimistic dreamer. But for Bernard to secure his happiness with Rose, they both had to "die" in a plane crash. That was the only "cure" for Rose's cancer was that she became a spiritual being on the island.

For example, Jack's sole mission in his life was to get the acknowledgement of his skills from his father. As a result, Jack was never happy. He had no friends. He was obsessed with pleasing his father, and getting out of his father's shadow, that it caused him to be paranoid and obsessive in his relationships. His first marriage failed because of an alleged jealousy between his wife and his father. And his relationship in O6 arc with Kate fell a part as well. In order for Jack to be happy, he had to do the opposite. He had to control things. He had to have the final say. He had to be right.

And then there were characters like Locke who spent their entire lives trying to find happiness, but stumbled through it as a fool. His bitterness of being abandoned as a child clouded all of his life choices. It ruined his relationship with the one woman who cared about him and his disabilities. The only way Locke found any sliver of contentment was when he "died" and was reunited with his island friends.

Sociologists have studied this apparent personal paradox. Happiness is something we assume we want, but in reality, we sometimes give it up in exchange for comfort. Unfortunately, we’re often comfortable with not getting what we want, so resign ourselves to that fate. As researchers stated:

Though happiness is of course what we all fundamentally want, for many of us, it isn’t really what we know...it isn’t what we’ve come to expect. It doesn’t feel like home...Getting what we want can make us feel unbearably risky...Self sabotage may leave us sad, but at least safely, blessedly, in control. It can be useful to keep the concept of self sabotage in mind when interpreting our and others’ odder behavior.

Beyond that, next time you’re weighing a decision and thinking about the risk involved, it might help to consider the role of comfort and control.

The concept of self-sabotage fits Locke to a tee. It also fits in Jack's grinding personality flaws of being an unloved, control freak. It also connects Kate's selfishness with her self-destructive behavior when she constantly tries to escape responsibility for her life's decisions. 

Was Jack really happy in the end? I don't think so. Being a martyr and dying in the bamboo field was unnecessary. And when he went to the sideways church reunion, he was more in his own catatonic state than being in a state of happiness. 

TO HIS OWN DRUMBEAT

"If a man does not keep pace with his companion, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer"? - - - Henry David Thoreau

Companionship is the keystone to the foundation of human relationships.

It is often taken for granted by couples.

One's compassion and passion are the mortar that sets companionship to the solid foundation of the relationship.

In all of the LOST relationships, only one truly met the requirement for a lasting love affair: Rose and Bernard.  All the rest of the main characters were missing some real compassion or passion for their partner. For example, Sayid may have felt sympathy for Shannon after losing Boone, and had a passionate spark for her, but Shannon's M.O. was to find a man, anyone, who would support her. Her only asset was her good looks. That was not a solid relationship in any sense of the term.

The same goes for Jack and Kate. Kate used her charm to bounce around from man to man in order to get something from him: protection, money, a hideout, or escape. Jack did not seem to have the passion to hold on to Kate, and Kate was never head over heels in love with Jack during their island time. If she was, she would have never left a bleeding Jack after they defeated MIB/Flocke.

Besides Rose and Bernard, the main characters of the show walked to their own drummers because they were loners, lost in their own fears, self-esteem issues and social awkwardness that stunts human growth.

HURLEY'S ISLAND

Fifty years ago, American television debuted a new show called Gilligan's Island. The premise was simple: several passengers get on a charter boat for a three hour cruise. But the ship gets caught up in a violent storm. It is shipwrecked on an uncharted island. The survivors have to learn to make do with coconuts, palm leaves and goofy comedy.

Gilligan's Island represents the basic shipwreck story, but in a comedy as the first mate, Gilligan, is a hapless buffoon who keeps getting the group in trouble. In some ways, the success of this episodic series showed that this premise could work on prime time television.

It was never suggested that LOST should have been a reboot of Gilligan's Island. Until now.

The original cast featured the ship's captain, first mate Gilligan, a professor, a model Ginger, a farm girl Mary Ann and a rich couple, the Howells. We can re-cast the main characters of LOST into these roles.

There was only one married couple on the island. Rose and Bernard would be the Howells. However, they would not be the flamboyant multimillionaires, but a quiet retired couple searching for peace.

The farm girl would be played by Kate because she grew up in rural Iowa, and acts like a tomboy. She would probably be more aggressive than Mary Ann.

The model would be played by Shannon, because she grew up as a spoiled, jet set brat. She would probably be more snooty than Ginger.

The professor would be played by Sayid, since he had the encyclopedic knowledge of all things electrical and mechanical. He would mirror the professor's role of finding impossible ways to make machines out of nothing.

The goofy guy that always gets in trouble would fall to Charlie. Charlie never fit in with any group except with his best bud, Hurley. Charlie was never that strong, he never led on missions, and he had personal demons he needed to keep secret. He was insecure and lonely. He tried too hard to be a part of a group.

So this leads the heavyset skipper role to Hurley, which in some ways fits into LOST because Hurley winds up as the island guardian. As the skipper, Hurley would be a reluctant leader with a sense of humor. Like on the LOST island, Hurley would be the glue that keeps the group together because of his even demeanor and kind outlook.

Taking parts of LOST's cast to re-imagine Gilligan's Island is not that hard.

BROTHERS

The closest bond a person will ever have in their life is with their spouse or significant other. The next closest bond is between brothers.

“ A brother may not be a friend, but a friend will always be a brother. ”
— Benjamin Franklin

But what is a brother? The word is defined as follows:

1.a man or boy in relation to other sons and daughters of his parents.
   
2. a male associate or fellow member of an organization: fraternity brothers.
   
3. (also brothaor bruthah ) informal  for a black man (slang)
4. a fellow human being.

5. a thing that resembles or is connected to another thing;
6. Christian Church a (male) fellow Christian.

7. a member of a religious order or congregation of men
8. used to express annoyance or surprise.

The main male characters were not related to each other by blood. Their only connection was living through a traumatic event on par with soldiers on a battle field.

The did not voluntarily join a club like fraternity brothers, who swear an allegiance to each other.   There time together was marked by disputes, leadership struggles and fights.

The one thing that connected them together was the fact that they were on some immortal and potentially crazy man’s “list of candidates.”  They had nothing in common, except a medical background of Jack and Bernard.

None of them had outspoken Christian values or grouped people in a congregation based upon those principles. In fact, most of the main male characters were generally annoyed by the personalities, traits and opinions of their fellow castaways.

So the only true connection between Jack, Sayid, Sawyer, and Locke were the survival of a plane crash and the mutual struggles on the island. Yes, they were fellow human beings but one contained a monster (Sayid's violent tendencies) and one became a monster (Locke).

Were Jack and Sayid close friends? No. They were colleagues who often agreed on strategy to survive. But Sayid was always looking to cover his own back first.

Were Jack and Sawyer close friends? No. They were rivals for materials on the island after the crash (medical supplies, weapons, food). They were rivals for Kate's affection. They never truly got along. Sawyer did not stay to help Jack fight MIB.

Were Jack and Locke friends? No. They never met eye to eye on their view point of science verus faith to explain the unnatural elements of the island. Locke was too trusting, and Jack was too stubborn in his personal views. They never truly got along.

Were Jack and Jin friends? No. They could not communicate because of a language barrier. Jin favored isolation away from Jack's main group. There was some respect for their skills, but Jin never fought for Jack's vision of the means to survive on the island.

So none of the major male relationships have any hard element of brotherhood, a strong bond through thick and thin, the best of time or the worst of times. 


So the brotherhood angle of the LOST saga again falls on the realationship between Jacob and MIB. A relationship founded upon a kidnapping by a crazy woman, no father figure, parent constraints and child rebellion, and finally murder. Jacob and MIB's home was not the island but it was their living hell. Their crazy mother who killed their real mother raised them in secrecy of their true past. They lived in isolated place under rules that granted them a form of immortality under the pains of imprisonment.

One cannot say that Jacob and his brother were actual friends. They merely tolerated each other growing up as children. They did not have other humans to develop social skills or gain knowledge outside their adoptive mother's rules. When MIB broke away from his mother's dictatorship as a young adult to live with the survivors of the shipwreck, his one goal was to get away from the island. Jacob did the opposite. He stayed with Crazy Mother and broke the one family tie he had on the island.