CREATIVE SOLITUDE

Albert Einstein wrote, "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind."

THE LONELY DIE EARLIER

The Mirror (UK) recently published an article which stated that researchers have found that lonely people die earlier than people in relationships.

Scientists revealed why being lonely increases your chances of dying early because being lonely appears to weaken people's immune system. Researchers said their findings were independent of factors such as depression, stress and social support.

Lonely people are more likely to die early due to their immune system being weaker, according to a new study. People who do not have frequent interaction with others are 14 per cent more likely to die early as they appear to have much lower levels of white blood cells in their body.

The cells are the human body's way of battling diseases and illnesses and researchers stressed their findings were independent of other factors such as depression, stress and social support. Research shows loneliness leads to fight-or-flight signalling occurring in the body, which can lead to a drop in white blood cells for over a year weakening the immune system.

University of Chicago scientists examined gene expression in leukocytes, there are cells responsible for protecting us against bacteria and viruses. Their previous study found a link between loneliness and a phenomenon called 'conserved transcriptional response to adversity' (CTRA).

CTRA describes the effect of lonely people tending to have a weaker immune system response than those with a healthy social life. This occurs when the number of genes involved in inflammation increases and the amount of genes involved in antiviral responses falls.

The PNAS study reconfirmed these findings, but also revealed that loneliness could predict future CTRA gene expression over a year later. The researchers also found that loneliness and leukocyte gene expression appeared to provoke each other over time.

Next, research on monkeys found that the lonely primates showed higher CTRA activity.
But on a cellular level, they also found higher levels of the fight-or-flight neuro transmitter, norepinephrine.  Research conducted previously has revealed norepinephrine can provoke stem cells in the bone marrow to produce more of a particular kind of immune cell - an immature monocyte.
These particular cells have high levels of inflammatory gene expression and low levels of antiviral gene. Further tests found both lonesome humans and solitary monkeys had high levels of monocytes in their blood samples.

Finally the researchers tracked the HIV version of monkeys (simian immunodeficiency virus) in isolated primates. They found the altered antiviral gene expression in "lonely like" monkeys allowed the condition to grow faster in both blood and brain.

Professor John Cacioppo said: "Taken together, these findings support a mechanistic model in which loneliness results in fight-or-flight stress signalling, which increases the production of immature monocytes, leading to up-regulation of inflammatory genes and impaired anti-viral responses. The 'danger signals' activated in the brain by loneliness ultimately affect the production of white blood cells. The resulting shift in monocyte output may both propagate loneliness and contribute to its associated health risks."

There is a connection to LOST's main characters. Each main character had traits of deep loneliness, with associated levels of stress and depression. How each dealt with it was different; Jack dived into his work to create "miracles," while Hurley took eating to mask his depression.

But it would seem that all the main characters "died" on or about their island age (if one believes that our bodies are re-united in the afterlife after death). This contradicts Christian's statement to Jack at the sideways church memorial service. But taken the presence of the main characters have not aged, and that the survivors who left the island apparently did not re-unite with loved ones post-island (i.e. having a real, long life with new people - - - including spouses, children, new friends, etc.), the conclusion is that the main characters died early, before their time.

And the only thing that could help them move along from their "lonely" pre-island existence were the friendships and bonds created in the island time period. If LOST was really the culmination of various characters dying alone but having to make "post-life" connections on the island in order to be enlightened to make it to heaven, that is a premise that some could find comforting in relation to The End.

No one wants to die alone. In fact, many people's greatest fear is dying alone.

LONELINESS ANSWER

One of the major themes in LOST was loneliness. Many of the major characters were traditional loners. Why people are lonely has lead to many research and literary articles. As a society and community, we believe that human beings need social interaction in order to live well-rounded lives.

There are times that some people need their "alone" time. Introverts actually need this lonely time in order to re-energize themselves for future tasks that make them uncomfortable, including work and social settings.

We may sometimes try to convince ourselves that we'd be better off if we remained alone, but why do people decide to stay lonely? New York Magazine published an article examines that question and discovers a surprising explanation.  

There are  health issues that arise from being lonely. In fact, "loneliness increases a person's risk of mortality by 26 percent, an effect comparable to the health risks posed by obesity, according to a study published this spring." Loneliness can also lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

With these risks, why would one choose to be lonely? As NY Mag notes, "One long-held theory has been that people become socially isolated because of their poor social skills and, presumably, as they spend more time alone, the few skills they do have start to erode from lack of use." 

However, with the help of recent studies, this is a big misconception. It's not that lonely people lack social skills or can't understand them; rather, when expected to use them they "choke." 

Professor Megan L. Knowles of Franklin and Marshall College conducted an experiment in order to find out why this happens. In her research,  Knowles led four experiments that demonstrated "lonely people's tendency to choke when under social pressure." 

In one experiment, Knowles and her team tested the social skills of 86 undergraduates, showing them 24 faces on a computer screen and asking them to name the basic human emotion each face was displaying: anger, fear, happiness,  or sadness.
 

When put to the test, lonely participants did much better than their non-lonely counterparts. However, this was only the case when the lonely participants were told they were taking a general knowledge test.
 

Why would lonely people be better at reading emotions than non-lonely people? It's believed that "lonely people may be paying closer attention to emotional cues precisely because of their ache to belong somewhere and form interpersonal connections, which results in technically superior social skills," according to the study.
 

So, lonely people actually don't want to be lonely — it's their desire to belong that causes them to seem like they lack social skills. They know how to be social, but they're too concerned about choosing the correct social cues to make a good impression.
 

Who would want to feel this pressure all the time? This is exactly why some people prefer to keep to themselves. Perhaps, it is just easier not to confront and control your own inner turmoil.

It may come down to confidence in themselves. Many people fear that they will say or do the wrong thing, upset other people or look foolish to strangers. Or, they may believe that people will not like them for who they are. But all people have those same fears and anxieties. It is becoming self-aware of your issues, then overcoming them through experience and growing a close group of friends that you respect, trust and who will mutually support each other. 

RELATIONSHIP BREAK UPS

The series had several emotional break-ups. How people react to this stressful situation added drama to the show. Such situations mirror real life.

Chances are good that you’ve already experienced a romantic break-up or two. Pairing up and eventually parting ways is part and parcel of the romantic experience. Nothing remarkable about that, right? Well, what happens after breakups, and the significant difference between how men and women handle them, is sufficiently fraught that some researchers have dedicated their whole academic careers to studying the phenomenon.

Craig Morris Ph.D., professor of anthropology at Binghamton University, is one such person. As lead researcher on a study recently published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences, he revealed that women experience more emotional pain after a breakup, but they recover more fully recover than men, who simply move on.

When 5,705 participants in 96 countries were asked to rate the pain of a breakup on a scale of 1 (none) to 10 (unbearable), women reported higher levels of physical and emotional pain, but they became emotionally stronger afterward. Men never fully recovered.

Morris ascribes the differences to biology. “Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man,” he says. For our female ancestors (and even today), the briefest encounter with a male could lead to long-term consequences like pregnancy and child-rearing. “It’s this ‘risk’ of higher biological investment that, over evolutionary time, has made women choosier about selecting a high-quality mate. Hence, the loss of a relationship hurts.”

For men, who have evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a high-quality mate might not hurt as much at first, says Morris. “The man will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it sinks in that he must start competing all over again to replace what he has lost—or worse still, come to the realization that the loss is irreplaceable.”
Studying breakups, specifically the grieving process attached to them, is an important academic focus says Morris, because most of us will have already experienced an average of three breakups by age 30, not to mention a divorce rate that still hovering around 50%.  At least one of these breakups will be devastating enough that it will affect our quality of life.

“People lose jobs, students withdraw from classes, and individuals can initiate extremely self-destructive behavior patterns following a breakup,” Morris says. The damaging effects can call for specific interventions.

Grace Larson, now a graduate student at Northwestern University, wondered whether participating in a study post-breakup would hurt or help participants heal. In a study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science, Larson and the team of researchers at University of Arizona looked at “self-concept reorganization,” the process of seeing and defining oneself separate from one’s ex. Asking the participants to reflect on their relationships helped them build a stronger sense of who they were as single people.

The methods used to measure well-being and coping did improve the participants’ well-being, although the researchers can’t say for sure which aspects of the study caused the changes. It may relate to participants thinking about their breakups from a distanced perspective, says Larson. Or, “it might be simply the effect of repeatedly reflecting on one’s experience and crafting a narrative, especially a narrative that includes the part of the story where one recovers.”

For those struggling with the aftershocks of a relationship, Larson suggests finding ways to regularly reflect on the recovery process. “For instance, a person could complete weekly check-ins related to his or her emotions and reactions to the breakup and record them in a journal,” she says, or write about the process of the breakup as though talking to a stranger about it.

Rebuilding a clear and independent concept of yourself appears to be the biggest force for recovery, so Larson suggests that anyone who’s recently experienced a breakup should consider who he or she is, apart from the relationship. “If that person can reflect on the aspects of him- or herself that he or she may have neglected during the relationship but can now nurture once again, this might be particularly helpful.”

Morris recommends that men and women going through heartbreak reach out to friends and family. “Immerse themselves in literature on the topic. Reflect on things that they did (and more likely did not do) wrong. Most importantly, realize that they are not alone.”

THE PAST DIVINED FUTURE

Study the past to divine the future. --- Confucius

It is hard to argue against a master's pure thought.

Human beings do dwell on the past in order to divine or predict their future.

They do so in work: if I did X,Y, and Z then I should get that promotion.

They do so in relationships:  if I did A,B, C with Lady One in the past but that did not work out, if I do X, Y, Z with Lady Two I will have a better relationship with her.

Sometimes, we get trapped in the past. When the "what if" scenarios begin to consume your thinking and reflecting time, you get caught up in the past which freezes the present to cause a fantasized future hope.

If you replace the "what if" with a more proactive, positive "what's next" attitude, then you are living in the present with a better outlook for the future.

This is best observed when people date and break up. Depending on how sudden or blindsided the break was, two things can happen. One, some can hide in the past (the good memories) to the point where they obsessive chase to get their former lover back in the future. Their future is a time loop of disillusion and rejection. Failure.  Two, some can let go of the past to the point where they can move on to find a better friend and lover. Their future is moving forward into the future with confidence and new awareness based upon experience. Progress.

The perfect character study for this behavior pattern was John Locke.

Locke carried with him additional baggage from his childhood abandonment issues, and added more baggage with each failed relationship. His past haunted his present and clouded his future.

His obsession with his con man father, even after he conned him out of a kidney, destroyed the best relationship he ever had with another person, Helen.

In the real world, he found a woman who loved him for who he was, but since Locke had so much personal baggage unresolved in his mind (that he could not love himself enough to be loved), he effectively destroyed the best chance he had for happiness.

And even if one considers the sideways world as Locke's "fantasy" future to try to get Helen back after their final break up on the mainland (island time frame), that did not work out either since Locke ended the series alone in the church.

Human beings try to project future happiness upon themselves. But just fantasizing about it will not make it happen. Action speaks louder than words. Action also speaks more to obtaining a new future than just thinking about it.

Locke never tried to replace Helen in his life. And that was his down fall. His failing. His past ruining his future because once he realized that Helen was very good to him (and for him), it was too late. He could have went back into the dating pool to find a new Helen (learn from his past mistakes) but he was too afraid. He envisioned himself as some grand outback warrior, but that was pure fantasy clouding his judgment and detouring him from real, tangible goals.

And this trap is what makes people have lonely lives.

LONELINESS

At the core of the LOST character tree was loneliness. Most of the characters were extremely lonely people with no true friends. This includes Jack, who was a brilliant surgeon, but in his back story had no friends he hung out with outside of work. 

The effect of long term loneliness on the brain and social interaction shows that lonely people tend to create a barrier, a shell, around themselves. Then, they tend to focus on negative aspects in the world around them.

One of the saddest things about loneliness is that it leads to what psychologists call a “negative spiral.” People who feel isolated come to dread bad social experiences and they lose faith that it’s possible to enjoy good company. The usual result is more loneliness. This hardly seems adaptive, but experts say it’s because we’ve evolved to enter a self-preservation mode when we’re alone. Without the backup of friends and family, our brains become alert to threat, especially the potential danger posed by strangers.

Until now, much of the evidence to support this account has come from behavioral studies. For example, when shown a video depicting a social scene, lonely people tend to spend more time than others looking for signs of social threat,  such as a person being ignored by their friends or one person turning their back on another. Research also shows that lonely people’s attention seems to be grabbed more quickly by words that pertain to social threat, such as rejected or unwanted.

Now the University of Chicago’s husband-and-wife research team of Stephanie and John Cacioppo — leading authorities on the psychology and neuroscience of loneliness — have teamed up with their colleague, Stephen Balogh, to provide the first evidence that lonely people’s brains, compared to the non-lonely, are exquisitely alert to the difference between social and nonsocial threats. The finding, reported in the journal, Cortex,  supports the broader theory that, for evolutionary reasons, loneliness triggers a cascade of brain-related changes that put us into a socially nervous, vigilant mode.

The researchers used a loneliness questionnaire to recruit 38 very lonely people and 32 people who didn’t feel lonely (note that loneliness was defined here as the subjective feeling of isolation, as opposed to the number of friends or close relatives one has). Next, the researchers placed an electrode array of 128 sensors on each of the participants’ heads, allowing them to record the participants’ brain waves using an established technique known as electro-encephalography (EEG) that’s particularly suited to measuring brain activity changes over very short time periods.

With the apparatus in place, the participants were asked to look at various words on a computer screen and to indicate with keyboard keys, as quickly as possible, what color they were written in.

This is an adaptation of a classic psychology test known as the Stroop Test. The idea is that since participants are asked to focus not on the word itself but on its color, any influence that the word’s meaning has on the participant is considered to be automatic and subconscious.

Some of the words were social and positive in nature (e.g., belong and party), some were social and negative (e.g., alone and solitary), while others were emotionally positive but nonsocial (e.g., joy), and others were nonsocial and emotionally negative (e.g., sad). The researchers were specifically interested in when and how the participants’ brains responded to the sight of negative words that were social in nature, compared to those that were nonsocial. To do this, they analyzed the participants’ brain waves to see when, after looking at different word types, their brains entered discrete “microstates,” which are periods of relative stability when a sustained pattern of brain regions are activated. When the brain enters a new microstate, this is a sign that it has initiated a new mental operation — that it’s processing some stimulus in a new way.

For the first 280 milliseconds (about one-quarter of a second) after a word was shown on the screen, lonely people’s brains entered a series of three discrete microstates that were identical whether a negative word was socially relevant or not. After that point, however, their brains entered a distinct microstate in response to socially negative words — with activation particularly notable in neural areas involved in the control of attention — suggesting that they had entered a highly vigilant mode. By comparison, non-lonely people’s brains continued to respond with the same microstates to social and nonsocial negative words for a full 480 milliseconds (nearly half a second). This difference between lonely and non-lonely people’s brains might sound subtle, but this is an important finding because it shows how lonely people’s brains are primed at a basic level to tune into social threats more quickly than is “normal.”

Because these effects occurred so early on in the lonely participants’ response to negative social words — and because this was all done in the context of the Stroop Test (where you focus on the word’s color, not the meaning) — the researchers say this shows lonely people’s vigilance to social threat is an implicit, nonconscious bias. In other words, it’s not something they’re aware of. The participants weren’t even meant to be paying attention to the words’ meaning, yet lonely people picked up on the difference between a socially threatening word like hostile and a negative nonsocial word like vomit more quickly than non-lonely people did.

In a real-world context, this is a troubling finding. When people feel most alone, these results suggest their brains are not tuned in to smiles and laughter, they’re switched on to frowns and snarls — they’re vigilantly looking out for negativity without really knowing it. This might have helped our distant ancestors stay alive back when lacking social ties was more of a direct threat to one’s well-being than it is today, making it evolutionarily adaptive. But in the modern world, it’s a stressful, unhelpful state to be in. It might even help explain why lonely people often have poorer health and shorter lives than people who feel connected and cared for.

If you take this research and apply it the LOST character base, the light is shown on the motivations of the characters. Many did see social threats all around them, even to the point of paranoia (like Ben, and Locke). Kate looked to the negative aspects of people around her, and when something got "good" and "positive," she fled that person (her husband, and Jack). In fact, some people with the mind set of negative behavior will push themselves toward more destructive behavior (such as Desmond and his ill-advised and nonsensical of the solo voyage across the Pacific to prove his true love to Penny or Charlie's spiral into drug use when his brother left the band to start a new family.)

SOCIAL DEATH

In 1993, social psychologist Craig Haney  began studying the effects of solitary confinement at Pelican Bay State Prison in California, one of the first "super-max" prisons in the country.

Twenty years later, he went back to gather more information — and found many of the same inmates still suffering alone in their cells.

"It was shocking, frankly," Haney, a professor in the psychology department at the University of California Santa Cruz, recently told The New York Times.

Despite not being peer reviewed as a formal study yet, Haney's interviewed of 56 prisoners, all of whom spent between 10 and 28 years in solitary confinement.

The results provide the most comprehensive look at the effects of long-term solitary confinement yet, according to the Times.

An estimated 75,000 prisoners across the US live in Special Housing Units, also known as the SHU — what the Federal Bureau of Prisons calls solitary confinement. There, they spend up to 23 hours locked in cells often no larger than the span of their outstretched arms with little to no interaction with others. 

During their few precious hours free from bars, they shower, exercise, and tend to their medical needs, still often alone.

In such extreme isolation for years, the prisoners Haney interviewed at Pelican Bay experienced what he calls a "social death."

“They were grieving for their lost lives, for their loss of connectedness to the social world and their families outside, and also for their lost selves,” Haney told the Times. “Most of them really did understand that they had lost who they were, and weren’t sure of who they had become."

The inmates describe the experience much more viscerally.

One compared Pelican Bay's solitary confinement wing to "a weapons labs or a place for human experiments," the Times reported. Another admitted he imagines his family watching TV with him and talks to them.

"Maybe I'm crazy, but it makes me feel like I'm with them," the inmate told Haney, according to the Times.

Yet another had considered begging a judge for the death penalty.

In 1993, the inmates Haney interviewed reported high rates of psychiatric issues, like depression and irrational anger and even confusion and dizziness.

When Haney returned to Pelican Bay in 2013, according to the Times, the prisoner's conditions hadn't improved.

Sixty-three percent of the inmates in solitary for more than 10 years told Haney they felt near an "impending breakdown," the Times reported. 

By contrast, only 4% of the regular inmates at the maximum security facility described themselves in the same manner. And 73% of solitary prisoners reported being chronically depressed, compared to 48% of maximum-security inmates.

Prolonged depression has been linked to the shrinkage of the brain's hippocampus, an area of the brain that helps us form new memories, process long-term memories, and link emotions to those memories.

Ian Hickie, the co-director of the University of Sydney’s Brain and Mind Research Institute, helped lead the largest international study comparing brain volumes in people with and without major depression. The study, published in June 2015, found that "more episodes of depression a person had, the greater the reduction in hippocampus size," he told The Guardian newspaper.

Aside from depression, the lack of physical activity, social interaction, or natural sunlight in solitary would likely be enough to cause a person harm, explained, Haney. "Each one is sufficient enough to change the brain and change it dramatically, whether it is brief or extended. And when I say extended, I mean days, not decades," he said.

While these studies show that isolation in a prison setting can cause severe mental and emotional problems, when we examine LOST's foundational story lines that have the basis in severe emotional and mental issues, one can see a link between the two.

Isolation does not have to come from prison confinement. At times, people create their own prisons. They withdraw from the world; hide in their own homes; remove contact with friends and family members. In such a situation, their mind preys upon their anxieties, fears, phobias and disillusions about how bad their life has become because of X, Y or Z reasons.  

Normal human beings live life. They work, try, fail, learn and try again. But those people trapped in their own mental prisons create the illusion of a real life because they cannot experience a real one. And this illusion based on past memories can be as vivid as reality itself.

So, even non-institutional people can create their own "social death." People are  grieving for their lost lives, for their loss of connectedness to the social world and their families outside, and also for their lost selves. That sounds like the foundational story engine for the LOST series.

LONERS

If LOST was anything, it was a collective story about loners.

A loner is from parts unknown: a recluse, introvert, lone wolf, hermit, solitary, misanthrope, outsider.

John Locke was such a person. He kept other people from getting too close to himself. He feared that he would be hurt with any new, close relationship - - - still deeply broken from the abandonment by his own parents.

Boone was also a loner. We never saw him in a happy, personal relationship. He was working for the family business, or rescuing his step-sister, Shannon. He was so committed to solving family issues that he allowed his own personal life to atrophy and wither. 

That is why both Locke and Boone were alone at the sideways church.

But society still frowns upon such behavior. Loners are deemed losers in many cultures. It is said that it is better to love and lost, then to never have loved at all. But at the surface, could either Locke or Boone actually be loved?

In order to be loved, a person needs to love themselves first. They need to have inner confidence to allow themselves to expose their deeply secret thoughts and emotions to another human being. For many, this is a difficult task to achieve. They think they can never meet the expectations of others. They think their flaws are magnified to monster status. They fear the unknown consequences of opening their heart, and the possibility that they will be crushed by rejection.

The only true haven for loners is the company of other loners. The series was filled with such characters, drifting through their lives with little purpose or goals. It was the plane crash that forced them to concede the fact that their lives had forever changed; that fate had brought them all together to break down their personal barriers in order to forge something foreign to most of them: solid friendships.

Friends can accomplish many amazing things. And true friendships between men and women can lead to every lasting love, as seen with the coupling of Sawyer-Juliet, Jack-Kate, Charlie-Claire and Rose-Bernard.

INTERCONNECTION

Advice columnist Ann Landers made in the 1990s this observation on the benefits of the Internet:

"It's wonderful for the lonely. There are a great many lonely people out there, and it makes them feel that they're a part of the living world. They can talk to somebody. Somebody will talk to them. And I think it's wonderful."

The characters in LOST fit that description a decade after she wrote those words.

Each of the main characters in the series were alone. A few had abandonment issues; a few had self-esteem issues; some were socially awkward; some harbored deep pain and resentment that they could not share with anyone. Loneliness is a yoke that chokes off a person's socialization in their community. Loners tend to withdraw into themselves. They tend to live in their own room, isolated from outside contact. There are few avenues of expression. They guard themselves against anything new, because they believe they will get hurt in the end.

So the characters have issues, deep issues.

The series focal point was Numbers, people as data. The candidates were numbers. The airplane was a number. The survivors were numbers. Numbers equate to a mathematical system, such as the basis of computer programs, modules and levels.

Some theorized that LOST represented the in-game, on-line community of loners who find their own community playing a survival game called LOST on the internet. Each person shown in the series is a representative avatar of a real person isolated in their dark, lonely room, waiting for interaction and missions with their "on-line" co-players. Like in any game, there are teams competing for something (power, control, territory, kills). The island is their game map. Exploration is part of the fun. Danger is part of the game play. How players interact with other is a key component to the outcome of the game itself. And that final reward for "winning" the game (through escape, sacrifice, redemption or whatever sub-code reward there is) was going to Heaven.

Simple ending to a complex on-line game which had little rules (or at least confusing rules).

MOTIVATION

There were many driven characters on LOST. But what really motivated them?

POWER. Widmore was hellbent on reclaiming the island. In his banishment from the island, he amassed a great deal of wealth in order to "find" "his" island.

His son, Daniel, was looking for a different kind of power. One that could control time, as his lab rat experiments at Oxford would show was possible. But in his search for intellectual power, Daniel severely injured his assistant - - - and stopped his progress to attain power and its prestige.

Jack held the power of life and death over his severely injured patients. As a surgeon, his skill level would determine whether he would help or harm at patient. As with his father's demise for medical negligence, there is a fine line between being a miracle worker and a fraud.

CONTROL. Sawyer wanted to control his life after his parents deaths. He wanted to control his future for one event: revenge on Cooper. It gave him a narrow vision; and ironically turned himself into the person he hated most. He learned the skills of control by being a con man - - - looking deeply into the greed and desires of others, to manipulate them to his advantage.

Likewise, Ben wanted control of the island, not for the power but for the respect he never gathered from his own father. He banished Widmore so the Others would look up to him as their sole leader. Ben tightened his control by surrounding himself with new hires loyal to him.

However, Locke had the same want of being able to control his future as he received no respect from his father. But Locke failed because he never could formulate a workable plan where other people would follow his lead. And during the course of failure after failure, Locke became a bitter person.

Eloise was also a control freak. She knew of future events, and manipulated people like Desmond to get her chess pieces in place so she could have her own after death fantasy family life with a doting son and husband.

But those actions above were not the true motivations of people seeking power or control. The real motivation throughout the characters were their fear of loneliness. Widmore, Ben, Jack, Sawyer and Locke all battled against the stress of loneliness.

Kate was a flirty, gregarious child who got into trouble in order to connect with other people. She turned into a loner because she wanted to run away from commitment. But she found that made her even more alone.

Hurley always felt abandoned and alone when his father left him. Then his one best friend left him after he kept a secret from him. Hurley felt that he could trust no one with his new found wealth so he was crazed with the fear that his life would be one lonely road.

Desmond never fit in because he really did not want to try. He feared commitment so he took to the idea of being a loner. But after he met Penny, he wanted to free himself from the chains of loneliness but could not bear the confidence of being able to support Penny or win over her family.

In order to combat their lonely existence, the main characters found new hope when they were thrown together in an island survival story. None could make it on their own. "Live Together or Die Alone." They needed the friendship of each other in order to make their lives meaningful. They needed their friendships in order to move on with their lives. This is probably the clearest theme in the series.

SAD COMMENTARY ON LIFE

A recent American study concluded  that as many as 73 percent of people surveyed say they are “making do” in their relationship because their true love got away.

It appears people settle for many reasons, including fear of being alone or wanting security and comfort with any other person.  17 percent of respondents said they met their soul mates when it was too late — after they were already paired-off or married.

So many respondents freely admitted that they are "making the best of it" with their current partner. The response is "it's better to be with somebody than nobody."  It seems that settling into a relationship is more important than the relationship itself.

Most of the respondents said that are content with their relationship, but  46 percent say they’d leave their spouse or partner to be with their true love. However, experts warn that the grass make look greener, but there are no guarantees that a past true love will be unrequited in the end.

A clinical psychologists believe the couples are focusing on what they have–not what might have been–might not be the best idea. Once people make an investment in another person, there are ways of making things better so that is why a majority stay.

Loneliness is the driving force that puts people together, for better or worse.

In LOST, it may help explain why so many "wrong" people wound up with each other. People are still head scratching why Sayid wound up with Shannon when he pined for decades over Nadia in both realms. The same is true for even Sawyer, who wound up with Juliet, instead of the woman who fathered his child. And it would seem by process of elimination, Jack settled for Kate, or vice versa since most people believe Kate was more enamored with Sawyer (physically, mentally and personality wise).

The concept that a vast majority of couples never live with their "soul mates" is a sad commentary on modern society. Perhaps, it is generational as the happiest couple in LOST was Rose and Bernard, who found each other late in their lives.

AN EPIC JOURNEY

Literature must mimic real life events in order to make the entertainment compelling and believable to the reader. The same is true for visual media.

The classic format for story telling is the epic journey. It is based upon man's innate desire to move about the world. Humanity's survival depended upon its population movement to new places, new climates, and new knowledge acquired along the way. Exploration and discovery are keystones to the human experience.

It could be as simple as ancient man learning to harness fire. Fire allowed groups to settle in camps. Fire allowed the groups to cook and preserve meats, which some medical researchers believe allowed man's brain to develop beyond its animal instincts. In turn, the settlements allowed man to begin to fashion the first agriculture: the cultivation of plants and domestication of animals. Tribal travel became folk lore. They would not need to move unless the environment or food resources changed; meaning that the group would have to leave their "home" in order to survive.

Survival is a great motivator. It is a built-in human mechanism in order to deal with the stress, anxiety, fear and physical demands of a desperate situation. A person gets a massive dose of adrenaline, testosterone and endorphins which in some cases create superhuman feats of strength or endurance.

So the basic roots of the epic journey story go back as far as the first human settlements.

In most epic journey stories, the main character(s), the hero, must suffer hardship, conflicts, difficult choices and possible unintended consequences of his actions, in order to personally grow as an individual and to resolve the main conflict that blocks his path to his destination.

These basic elements are hard to fit into the story line of Jack.

He was brought up in a middle class home. He had a better life than most people. He was estranged from his successful father, so he appears to be a lonely child. He was bright enough to become a spinal trauma surgeon. He would have the respect of his colleagues and staff. He was young, rich, and very good at his profession. But he was still trying to get acknowledgement from his father. He was still a lonely person.

If one believes Jack's journey "begins" with his over-the-top "miracle" cure of Sarah, for which his father told him not to give his patients "false hope," then what was it for?

Jack and Sarah became engaged. At their wedding rehearsal dinner, Sarah gave a speech about how she met Jack through her accident and how, because of him, she would be able to "dance at her wedding." She ended the speech with a toast to Jack, her hero. Later that night, she came downstairs to the hotel's bar and joined Jack at the piano. Noting that there were some girls checking him out, she and Jack played "Heart and Soul"together. On their wedding day, the two of them shared their prepared vows and were pronounced husband and wife.

Sarah was the representation of the pinnacle of Jack's profession. He was her literal Knight in Shining Armor who saved her from a life of misery. In any fairy tale, this would be the happy ending. Jack was no longer alone. He had bested his father's skill and performed a true miracle. Jack had arrived.

But Sarah and Jack ultimately got divorced; one can assume that Jack's family history of alcoholism could have been a factor as Jack began to drink. Jack bitterly contested the divorce, and eventually began stalking Sarah trying to discover the identity of her lover. Jack eventually accused Christian and assaulted him in public, after finding his father's telephone number in Sarah's cell phone call records. Jack's life turned into a paranoid trail of accusations. Instead of having hope, he has personal despair. Jack fell a part, professionally and emotionally.

When a remarried and pregnant Sarah Wagner arrived at the emergency room where Jack was being treated (after he saved a woman from a car wreck which he caused by his attempted suicide on a bridge), she said she was still as his emergency contact person. She was cold and distant. She did not want anything further to do with Jack. She was aware of his recently-developed drinking habit and was highly disturbed by it, as she asked if he was "drinking again." At this point, Jack could never turn back the clock. His wife was gone. His father was gone. He was again alone.

Jack's journey to the island did not change any of those critical facts. He performed no miracles on the island. Two of his patients died in gruesome, painful deaths (Mars and Boone.) In fact, it was Boone who told Jack to let him go. Jack had a problem of rejection and failure. The island did not change those factors as Jack's leadership was always questioned (by Locke, Sawyer, Kate, and the Others). If he believed in the hope of the survivors rescue, Jack did little to make that happen in the end. It was Frank who piloted the few survivors off the island. It was Sawyer who got Kate to the plane; and it was Kate who got Claire to the plane. Jack's decisions actually hurt more people than helped saved.

Yes, Jack suffered numerous hardships on the island. He had multiple conflicts within his own group and the Others. He made difficult decisions on the safety of the survivors, which led to many lives lost.  Jack was not punished for the consequences of his actions. He did not personally grow as an individual since he was a leader prior to the plane crash, and assumed the vague guardian role in the end.  The guardian role did not save anyone, including Jack.  If the main conflict of LOST was Jacob and MIB's escape from the island, Jack was a pawn in that play. If Jack had to sacrifice himself so others could live, that was undetermined at the end.  Jack's destiny was to die. But all humans are destined to die. There is nothing unusual or compelling about that fact. And in the LOST mythology, we don't actually know "exactly" when Jack died or why.

Jack had a lot of island adventures, but they were twists and turns on a path which resolved very little. If you take Jack's character out of the LOST saga, not much would be missing or be the catalyst to the end in the sideways church. There was no grand revelation of what Jack did that made a great change in the outcome of his life, or the lives of his friends. They explored a strange island, but discovered nothing about themselves. No one changed. Their destinies were fixed before they arrived on the island.

LIMITATIONS

The sky has never been the limit. We are our own limits. It's then about breaking our personal limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our best lives. — Unknown

The strengths and weaknesses of any character is his or her strengths and weaknesses. Those characteristics are either physical, emotional, cultural, environmental, chemical or mental.

What were the personal limitations of the main characters?

Jack's potential seems to have been met when he became a highly qualified spinal surgeon. However, his personal and emotional state was in question based upon his failed marriage and strained relationship with his father. As a result, Jack had no strong support group of family or friends.

Kate's potential seems to have never been met. She was a tomboy turned tom cat. She never made much of her life. She had no career. She had no real job. She was self centered and looked to an easy way to charm herself out of difficulties. The time she lashed out of her status quo, she blew up her house and father, which did not lead to any personal growth but a long criminal record. She was a loner who would rather run than stand up for his actions.

Locke's personal growth was stunted as a boy. He was intelligent enough to become a professional but he wanted to be liked more by his peers than to accomplish anything for himself. As a result, he wandered through his life in meaningless jobs. He never broke through his personal limits because his self-induced depression led him to fantasy diversions. He was a loner.

Hurley's personal growth was like Locke's. It was stunted as a young boy when his father left the family. He was raised by a religious mother. Unlike Locke, Hurley accepted what he was told to do. But he was shy, overweight, introverted and not good at anything in particular (academics, sports, arts, etc.) Hurley was basically stuck in a fast food worker minimum wage rut. He seemed to have accepted his limitations because he rarely tried to stand up for himself. He was a loner.

Sawyer's personal growth also ended when his parents died. His family life after his parents' deaths is unclear, but Sawyer's deep rooted revenge ethic morphed into the adult con man whom he had hated as a child. He did not have any earth shattering dreams or ambitions. He was self-centered, self-reliant but extremely lonely.  He maintains his loner status even on the island.

Sayid seemed to have detoured when he joined the wrong crowd, the Iraqi Republican Guard. In a closed dictatorship run by madmen, it is hard to imagine that a young boy would have the ability to name his own development course and career path. As a result of being a soldier, the dark side of Sayid's character came out. He did what he had to do. That meant torture and murder. That meant that he became a human tool to do other men's dirty work. His own personal goals and aspirations were killed long before he came to the island. He was also a loner amid the group on the island.

By far, Jin broke his personal limitations of being a poor fisherman to marrying a wealthy heiress, Sun. He outgrew his limited education to become a respected person in society. But his success was tempered by the fact that Jin also became a tool for a power man, his father-in-law. Jin wanted wealth, respect and power - - - which he achieved, but at the personal cost of any emotional stability in his marriage. As a result, Jin housed an inner bitterness that his early dream had turned into a waking nightmare.

Only Jin had the hope of outgrowing his situation by growing together with Sun. The rest of the above characters did not have anyone to help them on any path of self-discovery or change. Jack, Kate, Hurley, Sawyer, Locke and Sayid were all destined by their pasts to live out meaningless lives alone. So the one thing that the series allegedly resolved was this deep loner status of these characters. The island was the opportunity for them to "find" someone to re-direct them on a better path to a more fulfilling life. 

Maybe that is the one lesson from the end: in order to break one's personal limitations, you need another person to share your pain, sorrow and dreams.