RISK REWARD LUCK UNLUCKY

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg said, "The only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."

There is a stigma against risk taking; it is an inherent defense mechanism in the brain which governors people trying to hurt themselves. No one wants the pain of being hurt, whether physical or emotional. Rejection is a burning knife in the gut. Going outside one's "comfort zone" is a high anxiety experience. 

You can stop the risk by becoming a hermit living in one's personal shell of personal barriers, excuses, bad lonely habits and paralysis.

LOST was a case study of different types of risk takers.

You have the messiah-complex high level risk takers who really did not weigh any moral issues when they made their decisions. Ironically, Jack and Ben were on a similar plane. Jack took surgical risks on patients because he believed he was a miracle worker. It was an unrealistic belief that he could save everyone. But even with those giant risks, he got very little reward from his hospital, his staff or his father. Ben took a different path to putting in play his "big play," the banishment of Widmore from the island and the purge of killing the Dharma collective, including his own father, so he would become the island king. He risked everything for the power to control the island. He got nothing in return because the Others did not respect him (they feared him), he had no friends and his own self-grandeur amounted to nothing in the end.

Hurley was at the opposite end of the spectrum. He did not want to take any risks. So he hid himself in a shy exterior. He would only come to life once he got to know you well. He only had one or two friends, but those relationships ended when he failed to share his secret that he won the lottery. He believed himself cursed by fate, so he did very little to try to expand his reach. He would have been a fast food lackey his entire life; no ambition, no girlfriend, no family, no life. Once he landed on the island, he could have made more of his "new start." He became the likeable guy, but not a major player or decision maker.

Of the "lucky" survivors, many of the main characters' lives did not end well in the series. If they risked the perils of the island to reach their personal dream or goal, they failed. Sayid longed for his one true love, Nadia.  But he risked his own life to get her back, but in the end he wound up with Shannon, the exact opposite. Locke longed for acceptance and adventure, the hero jock. But he wound up conned and crippled by his own family and his own shortcomings. Their personal sacrifices did not result in reaching their dreams.

There is a relationship between risk and reward. One cannot exist without the other. It is like a reflection in a mirror: you have to see who you are in order to change yourself. "Bad luck" is more often the lack of effort to reach an opportunity. But if one takes failure as "proof" that one's fate is a sad, lonely, unfilled life - - - they are missing the great life lesson that experience comes through failure. Experience is necessary in order to take calculated risks for reasonable rewards. It is those people who understand this dynamic push forward (against the odds) to succeed; they make their own luck.

HAPPINESS TRADE-OFFS

One of the main themes of life is finding and securing happiness.

But in the quest for happiness, something usually has to give.

In LOST, various main characters were searching for happiness, but most never found it.

For example, Rose and Bernard met late in life. It was a godsend for Bernard. Rose was his world. Until she got cancer. He panicked and tried to find any cure. That led to a strain in their relationship. Rose was a realist. Bernard was an optimistic dreamer. But for Bernard to secure his happiness with Rose, they both had to "die" in a plane crash. That was the only "cure" for Rose's cancer was that she became a spiritual being on the island.

For example, Jack's sole mission in his life was to get the acknowledgement of his skills from his father. As a result, Jack was never happy. He had no friends. He was obsessed with pleasing his father, and getting out of his father's shadow, that it caused him to be paranoid and obsessive in his relationships. His first marriage failed because of an alleged jealousy between his wife and his father. And his relationship in O6 arc with Kate fell a part as well. In order for Jack to be happy, he had to do the opposite. He had to control things. He had to have the final say. He had to be right.

And then there were characters like Locke who spent their entire lives trying to find happiness, but stumbled through it as a fool. His bitterness of being abandoned as a child clouded all of his life choices. It ruined his relationship with the one woman who cared about him and his disabilities. The only way Locke found any sliver of contentment was when he "died" and was reunited with his island friends.

Sociologists have studied this apparent personal paradox. Happiness is something we assume we want, but in reality, we sometimes give it up in exchange for comfort. Unfortunately, we’re often comfortable with not getting what we want, so resign ourselves to that fate. As researchers stated:

Though happiness is of course what we all fundamentally want, for many of us, it isn’t really what we know...it isn’t what we’ve come to expect. It doesn’t feel like home...Getting what we want can make us feel unbearably risky...Self sabotage may leave us sad, but at least safely, blessedly, in control. It can be useful to keep the concept of self sabotage in mind when interpreting our and others’ odder behavior.

Beyond that, next time you’re weighing a decision and thinking about the risk involved, it might help to consider the role of comfort and control.

The concept of self-sabotage fits Locke to a tee. It also fits in Jack's grinding personality flaws of being an unloved, control freak. It also connects Kate's selfishness with her self-destructive behavior when she constantly tries to escape responsibility for her life's decisions. 

Was Jack really happy in the end? I don't think so. Being a martyr and dying in the bamboo field was unnecessary. And when he went to the sideways church reunion, he was more in his own catatonic state than being in a state of happiness. 

THE LILLY THEORY

Another fan based theory was allegedly attributed to a cast member. It basically states that the series is all about the characters, and their collective fate to meet and interact on the island.

Fan Theory: All the survivors were fated, as John Locke has said, to be on the flight, and to end up on the island. In other words, the island chose them.

The pre-island connections between castaways keep adding up as the seasons went by and the flashbacks were interconnected at times. Incidents like Claire’s psychic convincing her to take the fatal flight (and playing a part in Eko getting on), Hurley making the flight despite all odds, Jack talking his way (or, his dad's body's way) on board and Sawyer getting deported lend a lot of credence. Every character we see seems to have had a reason for being on that flight of all flights.
Fans also use the following quote as evidence of this theory:  "Lost is a very big metaphor for every single character's mental state of being, psychological, and emotional state of being and we're on this island to be mentally, psychologically, and emotionally found. We were all chosen specifically because we will facilitate that for one another," said Evangeline Lilly.

Even though the producers  said early in the series that there’s a rational, scientific explanation for everything that’s happened on the show, that statement created skepticism with each passing season as the faith and mysticism have been become major themes.

In the post-ending conversations, the producers did say that the show was "character driven" and that the focus was truly on the characters. They also indicated that the final season was to raise the big questions about life, its meaning and people in one's life, but leaving those answers to the viewers to decide.

Since there was no rational, scientific explanation for the sideways universe or the parallel lives of the characters themselves, if LOST was merely a disjointed "character study" many people would find that a poor bait and switch.

There is no problem to have the story "hook" that a diverse group of characters were somehow "fated" to come together to do something important.

Fate is the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. It is the course of someone's life, or the outcome of a particular situation for someone or something, seen as beyond their control. At times, individuals come to the conclusion that the outcome of a situation was "destined to happen,"  turn out, or act in a particular way.

In Greek & Roman Mythology, it is  the three goddesses who preside over the birth and life of humans. Each person's destiny was thought of as a thread spun, measured, and cut by the three Fates, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos.

"A fate worse than death" is a very old saying which foretells that something unpleasant will happen to someone. Perhaps, the characters being sent to the island was a fate worse than death, because they could not die until they redeemed their past - - - something that was holding them back. The fate theory is a subset of the theories that believe that characters were "tested" by supernatural beings. The reason for the tests is unclear, and the reward apparently was the ability to "move on" in the after life.

UNHAPPINESS

I read recently a fan post trying to explain why people who were unhappy with LOST's ending. The poster said the reason was that those fans were unhappy in their own lives.

I disagree. It is disconnected conclusion. Even if fans were unhappy in their personal lives, they use entertainment like LOST as a means to escape their dreary lives. Fans who invested a great deal of time and energy in the complex story lines were promised and then expected a grand finale. If fans were disappointed by the ending, it was not because it mirrored their own personal lives. Quite to the contrary, LOST was supposed to fulfill happiness in them.

The disjointed "happy ending" that many fans enjoyed for the main characters is a throwback to some cultures were stories have to have a happy ending. Fairy tales are a good example. But dramas are not fairy tales unless things get mixed up along the way.

CHANGE: Don't just talk about it, go out there and do it. Don't just meditate about it, go out there and create it. Don't just pray about it go out there and take action; participate in the answering of your own prayer. If you want change, get out there and live it. — Steve Maraboli

Why LOST so drastically changed course on itself is a mystery. It was not answered at the 10th Anniversary Reunion or any subsequent interviews. 

We have discussed a theme of change before in reviewing LOST. One could find unhappiness in all of the main characters:

Jack: unhappy with his personal life to blame his father for everything wrong with it.
Hurley: unhappy with his personal life to blame his father's abandonment for his situation.
Locke: unhappy with his personal life to blame his father for betraying and stealing from him.
Claire: unhappy with her pregnancy because she came from a one parent home and can't handle responsibility.
Charlie: unhappy with his personal life because his band was his family unit when it broke up.
Kate: unhappy with her personal life because her mother loved an abused man more than her.
Bernard: unhappy that his wife had incurable cancer and he was desperate to find a miracle cure.
Sawyer: unhappy with his need to revenge his parents death that he turned into the man he hated all his life.

Every person has unhappiness in their lives. Life is a roller coaster, with highs and lows.

Many of the main characters did little to relieve their unhappiness. Exceptions included Kate, who blew up her house to "save" her mother. But that led to even more unhappiness and a fearful flight from justice. Also, Sawyer killed an innocent man because of his own personal demon for revenge.

Even during the series, the characters did not actively try to change their circumstances. They more often than not allowed things to happen to them. They were content to allow circumstances control them like a swift current carrying their body downstream. The merely accept where the current will take them, instead of swimming to their own shore.

And if LOST was a character driven experience of adventure, enlightenment and change, very little of that made it into the pages of the scripts. In the sideways church, they all appeared to be happy, but why? It would seem the reunion made each of them happy because they shared a common experience on the island. But for most, they never survived that experience. They never came to terms with their personal unhappiness. In the finale, all that happened was that their souls came back together in the after life. That reinforces the unhappy fact that the characters did not change at all. One could say that fate brought them all together; and fate would take them back into the light.

And that is a better reason for fan unhappiness with LOST's ending than trying to blame the fans for their own unhappiness.

LOCK STEP TO FATE

Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. — Shari R. Barr

Many of the characters could have considered having a trying childhood or a "hard life."

But very few understood their predicament in order to change their future.

The classic example of this was John Locke.

Things he could not control:

1. Abandoned by father
2. Crazy mother giving him up to foster homes
3. Being bounced from foster parent to foster parent.

Things he could control:

1. Doing well in school, especially in math and science.
2. His attitude towards making friends.
3. His temper.
4. How he handled his relationships.
5. Making obtainable goals.

In LOST, Locke was more resigned to his fate than making things better through his own determination. Fate is the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. Locke believed that his fate decided his course for him, from his parental abandoment to subsequent serious injury as a cruel twist of fate.

Yet, the only fate common to everyone is the inescapable death of a person. In Locke's case, it could have been many deaths. A little part of him died when he was old enough to realize that his parents did not want him. A little part of him died when he met his crazy mother who must have put the impression that he was "special" in his mind (a mild that may have become self-delusional). A little part of him died when he put unattainable goals in the early stages of his high school years. He wanted to be a popular jock and not a nerdy science kid. He fell into the trap of popularity as being more important than lifetime skills. He desperately wanted to be liked by other people; but he came off cold and distant. The result was that he turned inward, in his own shell. He abandoned what other people told him, and fell into a personal rut of meaningless jobs and spurts of self-discovery which always ended badly.

Locke was lost from an early age. He never got to the point of accepting his lot in life to make an assertive change in direction. If the supernatural situation which he fell into, the plane crash and the island, was a second chance to change his behavioral anchors, Locke failed at the task. Initially, he was assertive but then was spurned. People liked Jack better than him. It was high school all over again. He had important skills that were diminished by Jack's better skills. This is why Locke resigned himself to accept things that would happen to him. He believed in fate, that his life was predetermined to be bad.

And it was. He was bitter. He was naive. He was trusting. He was bad at decision making. His analytical skills led to the mistake with the Hatch lockdown. He could not convince people to his way of thinking. He allowed other people to control him or use him like a pawn. Even in death, he was a puppet called Flocke.

There was once a line that said "don't confuse coincidence with fate."  In Locke's case, he did. Even in the fantasy world after death, for no apparent reason he could not move on with Helen, who was his partner in that world. Why? He destroyed his personal relationship with her off-island by being obsessed with his father's betrayal. In the sideways world, it was the exact opposite. His father was an invalid. He was with Helen. Was that all pure fantasy? He had no bonds to keep Helen in the sideways world church? If not, why did he accept that loneliness when Ben chose to keep working on his relationship issues. Or did it really matter at all? The dream is not reality. It only makes sense if one erases the sideways story lines. Locke's fate was to die alone, over and over again.

CHANGE

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny. — Paulo Coelho

Change is a difficult concept to comprehend. People are creatures of habit. We tend to have self-loathing aspects to our daily routine. Some call this personal introversion of suffering just life. Deal with it. One can scuttle along with their own dark cloud overhead without any one else noticing it. And if they do, they claim it is your own choice to live an unhappy, unfulfilled, unrewarding life. You created your own situation. Only you yourself can correct it.

It is hard life lesson that many people will avoid. They would rather keep the comfort of their miserable surroundings than risk the unknown that material change could bring. If one has lived in a bad place for so long, he only thinks that bad things will happen - - - even in change. The bad misery is his destiny. It is his fate. It is his demise.

There is nothing harder than getting out of one's rut to do something different. And even if one tries a little, in a short time one reverts back to the old mean. The classic example of this is dieting. People know they should avoid fast food, eat healthy, avoid fatty foods and alcohol. But those temptations are so easily accessible. The pleasure sensors in our brain find joy in consuming such unhealthy fare. So even when one realizes that change is needed, it is first the toe dip in the pool. Then it may be a small baby steps of substituting something good for something bad. You get on a program to help you along, but programs are like nagging mothers and one drowns them out after a while. You get on an exercise routine until some other activity, such as work, becomes a timely excuse to cut back on the exercise. And then suddenly, the downward spiral is back to the beginning. Some people would justify it as "that's the way things are supposed to be." Others will be depressed by the failure, which reinforces the anti-change thoughts they will have in the future.

It is only through trusted positive reinforcement will one latch on to change to make it work. Families are the hardest critics. They have the harshest words when things are not best. But, at the same time, their compliments hold more water than a stranger's, like a paid fitness instructor who says "good job" after every feeble station on the universal machine.

Why so many LOST characters never changed in the series is simple: they had no trusted person who would give them positive reinforcement in order to seek change. All the main characters had flaws and broken spirits. They were all pigeon-holed into a way of life that some of them resented to the fullest of their internal mental faculties. More and more they would recede into their own private worlds. There was some comfort to shut out the outside world, including your naggy family, to be left alone. 

But loneliness is one of the worst aspects of life. It puts some on the same mental level as inanimate objects like stones. They are mere background set pieces to the people around them who seem happy, energetic . . . alive. The farther one seeps into the shadows, the less likely it is that they will even recognize other people's happiness. This is where they become totally lost in their own dark angst.

And that is why LOST ended on a shadowy thud. The main characters did not have a moral, ethical, or spiritual upheaval and change in personality that made any sort of difference in how the various story lines ended in the sideways church. Their actions had no consequence in the big picture. They were all pretty miserable at the beginning through to the end. There was no real change in the characters, even though the TPTB still claim that the series was all about a character study. The main characters merely showed up for the cast wrap party reunion.

ACTIONS

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. — Dale Carnegie

 There are two general types of people: leaders and followers.

Leaders are those who take charge of a situation or group. They want to be in control. They have analytical skills to motivate people around them towards a common goal.

Followers are those who don't want to be in charge. They do not want the responsibility to oversee or control the collective work group. They would rather be told what to do rather than be proactive and seize the moment.

Leaders: Jack, Ben, Widmore, Eloise, Keamy, Sawyer (only by default), Horace.

Followers: Hurley, Charlie, Claire, Kate, Sayid, Sun, Jin, Boone, Charlotte, Daniel, Dogen, the Others, Dharma workers.

Then there are few characters who were independent and did not want to lead or follow: Rose, Bernard, Juliet, Michael, Shannon.

All these characters had continuous fears and doubts about themselves:

Hurley: being liked, respected, useful.
Charlie: being alone, addicted, useful.
Claire: being a mother.
Kate: having a commitment, being responsible or accountable to anyone.
Sayid: being evil, inability to change, to find happiness.
Sun: being dependent, weak, controlled.
Jin: being poor, ashamed of his family past, respected. 
Boone: being acknowledged, respected, trusted, useful.
Charlotte: finding a purpose, a talent
Daniel: being acknowledged, respected, and worthy of affection.
Dogen: being punished, martyred.
The Others: belonging to something
Dharma workers: belonging to something.

Their LOST experiences did involve those characters coming face to face with their fears and doubts. Most fell back to the comfort of their habitual inaction. Their fate was held by the people around them. They could not trust themselves to change to become fully confident and courageous in their own abilities. Hurley wept in fear when Jack passed on the guardian role to him. Claire never reconciled her fear of motherhood when she left the island as a zombie shell of herself.

The characters who were followers were the most "lost" in the LOST bunch. They would defer decisions to other people around them who had stronger opinions, even though they knew that it was the wrong course of action. Kate was especially keen on doing this mental gymnastics as she attempted to follow many opposing leaders at the same time (Jack and Sawyer dynamic.) As a result, she never grew as a person. It solidified her personality of being a runner, someone who avoided responsibility or accountability (the hallmarks of leadership).

But in the end, curiously, both leaders and followers who took two different paths in their island adventures and decisions, wound up at the same place.

FAITH WITHOUT RELIGION

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Wishing is not enough; we must do. — Johann Von Goethe

One of the main plot themes was the apparent conflict between faith and science. However, science was never explained and faith had no true religious context.

Locke was a drawn as a man of faith, but he did not practice any organized religion. He wanted or desired to be a different person. As a boy he did not want to be a student scientist but a jock. It was not his faith in any particular thing that moved along his life. It was more fate, a predetermined pathway which one has no control over. Destiny is a meaningful end to a journey involving fate, but Locke's end was not heroic or meaningful. As in life, as in his death at the hands of Ben, he was a pawn, a follower, an anti-hero.

Even those who expressed beliefs were not true believers. Eko was posing a priest because it was a means to save his own hide from the authorities. He may have been despondent that his criminal actions caused his brother's death, but he did not have a conversion to a religious man to make amends for his sins. It was a cover that could not contain his anger.  He had no qualms about killing the Others who attacked the Tailies camp. 

If there is a lesson, it is that people really do not change. Sayid may have said his morning prayers but he did not bow to commandments of his religion. He used the aspects of his religion not for faith but as a means to try to keep his own Iranian identity that had been taken away after the war. His desire to be an independent person was lost when the U.S. military turned him into a spy. He was not independent on the island either; he turned into Ben's henchman, then later when darkness consumed him, a follower of MIB/Flocke.

After the crash, Rose knew things would be okay. Some would think it was faith, a wish, a hope. Others would think that she knew because she knew herself - - - when the pains of her cancer left her body, she knew she did too. It was not a religious revelation, but an acknowledgement or realization that she had passed on.

This may be the context of character beliefs in the series.

Instead of the back stories (the flashbacks) being about each character's past, they may have been actual flash forwards of what each person's life "could have been" if they had not died at a young age. The unbelievable coincidence that the main characters would wind up all together in Sydney is more palatable if they were being sorted into groups at some cosmic soul factory.

We have discussed previously the idea that the main characters were dead souls making a harsh journey through the afterlife. We also have discussed previously the concept that the main characters "died" before Flight 815 took off. For example, when Jack was severely beaten by the school yard bully and hit his head, at that moment, Jack could have died (there have been numerous examples of punching deaths in Chicago area in the last few years). Or, when premature Locke was born at a rural hospital in 1950s, he was not a "miracle" baby but actually died because medical science could not save his life. Kate could have been hit by a car when she was fleeing the dime store with the stolen lunchbox (or even blown up in the house explosion). Sawyer's father could have killed his entire family (which is also a current trend in even quiet suburban homes today). And Hurley could have been one of the two people who died in the porch collapse.

What happens when a person's life is cut short?  Maybe certain souls get a chance to "live" a fantasy life before crossing over. For example, Hurley dies in the porch collapse. His life is cut short with serious issues left unresolved, including the abandonment by his father. As a result, his one true wish to have his family back together again can only been done if he magically "wins" the lottery. In his fantasy back story, he wins the lottery but such joy is tempered by unintended consequences (probably brought on by his deep emotional childhood issues). Even with money, his father's return, Hurley's second life is not fulfilling because he is still shy, naive and without self confidence. At this point, the cosmic sorting machine brings together other lost souls with unresolved issues and places them together in the final act of the second lives, the island world.

So what happens when these lost young souls come to the island as the final leg of their underworld journey? Some find their own answers, like Hurley, who experiences love with Libby. Some need some form of reformation or acknowledgement like Jack by his father. Others, like Michael, are not ready to move on because they have compounded their spiritual issues or in some ways want or need to be further punished (Michael being imprisoned on the island for killing Anna Lucia and Libby) in their own mind. In this way, there is no religious context to any character's journey. It is one of self discovery and self-fulfillment. In Michael's case, he wanted, desired and demanded that he be punished for his actions. In Sawyer's case, he wanted, desired and worked to change his con artist ways into a normal family situation with Juliet. The island gave them the means to put their desires into action so they could learn what it takes to become who they wanted to be in their lost real lives.

So what about Locke? His resolution in the church was a lonely one. He had no one to cross over with - - - except if one looks at what was missing from Locke's death at an early age, he had it in the church: friends. Locke had found friends, some as close as siblings, so in the end he had what was missing in his life: a family. 

In one respect, everyone in the sideways church embodied the concept of family. An extended family created by the extended second life in the spirit world for lost souls who died early, without the opportunity to experience the ups and downs of being a part of a family unit.