HAPPINESS

"A day without laughter is a day wasted.” - - - Charlie Chaplin

A happy day is a day filled with smiles. Laughter is an upbeat response to the stimulus around you. In many respects, laughter is a "misconnection" in your brain trying to connect two opposite factors which cause an instinctive release of laughter. Most jokes have an odd ending twist that triggers an emotional response.

One has to exercise their mind on a daily basis. It means to gather information, process it, store it, and use it in order to meet your own expectations, goals and work. But it also needs to relax and reboot itself otherwise the stress of daily life will create negative thoughts to take root, such as fear.

And once negative thoughts take center stage, it can lead to a regression introspection of anxiety.

Like fear, the past and the future are products of your mind. No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of anxiety can change the future. Happy people know this, so they focus on living in the present moment. It’s impossible to reach your full potential if you’re constantly somewhere else, unable to fully embrace the reality (good or bad) of the very moment.

To live in the moment, you must do two things:

1) Accept your past. If you don’t make peace with your past, it will never leave you and it will create your future. Happy people know that the only good reason to look at the past is to see how far you’ve come.

2) Accept the uncertainty of the future, and don’t place unnecessary expectations upon yourself. Worry has no place in the here and now.

As Mark Twain once said,

“Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.”

It is very difficult to control one's emotional state. We can train ourselves to react in certain situations. But there are moments where a hard wired response (a survival mode) will kick in and overwhelm the individual. We can’t control our emotional responses, and we can’t control all of our circumstances, but we can rid ourselves of habits that serve no purpose other than to make us miserable.

Everyone knows what makes them happy. With that in mind, everyone should set off a simple plan to achieve those things that make you happy. For example, if you are lonely list a few things or places where you can meet new people who share your ideas, hobbies or likes. Then go out and try to take baby steps to find new sources of happiness. If you don't try, you cannot succeed. If you don't try, you cannot change your situation. Happiness is something that is not given to you. You must go out and find it.

THE FUTURE WITHIN YOU

How many times in your adult life have you cursed younger you? “Dammit, why didn’t you start working out earlier?” Or, "What was I thinking before I started (this course of behavior)?" 

Many bad habits occur because you and your future self aren’t very close. If you want to improve those habits, get closer with that future you.

As news site Vox explains, ongoing research into how the human brain perceives long-term habits found that the more you view your future self as you, the more likely you are to engage in better habits. However, many of us actually view our future selves as strangers. Literally. If you have poor long-term habits, your brain exhibits the same activity when thinking about your future self as it does when it thinks about a completely different person:

Researchers have confirmed this with brain imaging. When people are in an fMRI scanner, their rostral anterior cingulate cortex brain region — which usually shows a high level of activity when people think about themselves — quiets down when people are told to think about themselves in 10 years. In fact, our brain activity when thinking about our future selves looks surprisingly similar to what happens when participants are asked to think about other people altogether.

So, what’s the solution? Start by thinking about your self in the long-term, regardless of your habits. You don’t have to start with a savings plan or a workout regimen. Just start thinking about how you connect to your own future.

Anne Wilson, a psychologist at Wilfrid Laurier University, suggests using a time line.  By drawing out current events in your life and connecting them to events in the near future (like deadlines, or events), she found that students were more likely to feel connected to their future selves, and thus make better decisions. However you choose to make the connection, though, the more you can think of your future self as the same person you are, the easier it will be to internally justify being helpful to them.

HAPPINESS

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” – George Bernard Shaw

HAPPY PEOPLE

Are you happy? Do you know how to be happy?

After decades of studying and working with tens of thousands of patients, researchers at the Mayo Clinic say they’ve cracked the code to being happy, according to CBS New York.

The Mayo Clinic is one of the most prestigious health organizations in the world with as many as 8,000 ongoing studies exploring every imaginable condition — including unhappiness.

Who doesn’t want to get — and stay happy?

Psychiatrist John Tamerin says for many people the root of everything we’re chasing, a better job, more money or true love, is happiness.

But this endless pursuit often backfires.

“If you lead your life always waiting for a great thing to happen, you probably will be unhappy,” Tamerin said.

Now, after decades of research nd a dozen clinical trials, researchers at the world-renowned Mayo Clinic, say they’ve actually cracked the code to being happy, and published it in a handbook.

The research team says the first and foremost way to be happy is to focus our attention.

“You can choose to live focusing on what is not right in your life,” Dr. Amit Sood said.

Experts say the human mind is instinctively restless, wandering from good thoughts to sad thoughts, scary thoughts and everything in between.

But if we learn to command our thoughts, shifting perspective away from the negative, and embrace the positive, we will be happier, experts say.

“Resiliency has everything to do with happiness,” Dr. Sood said.

The Mayo Clinic’s research also shows the degree of happiness people enjoy has to do with how resilient they are to life’s many curve balls. Happy people are very good at compartmentalizing and creating boundaries.

“So for example, if you’ve had a difficult day, when you get back home, for the first three minutes, forget about it, park it, and meet your family as if they’re long lost friends,” Dr. Sood added.

And perhaps one of the biggest hindrances to being happy is too much thinking about one’s self, research shows.

“Complainers are never going to be happy,” Ketchian said. “Happiness is a decision.”

So why did the Mayo Clinic decide to study happiness? Studies show happier people are healthier people.

SHANNON PORTRAIT

Shannon may have been one of the best characters to symbolize low self-esteem. All the money in the world, or even a doting parent, her father, could give her the independent character to survive on her own.

Shannon had a reverse daddy issue. Her father spoiled her. He gave her money. He protected her against the real world. He got her out of trouble. When he remarried, he was the buffer between his daughter and her step-mother. But when in the emergency room, Jack made the choice to "save" Sarah instead of Shannon's father (since both were critically injured), this set Shannon's life on a slow, downward deadspin.

It appears she never held a real job. Being a cute girlfriend, a rich bitch or a party girl were not lasting career choices. She did have the gift of flirtation and sexual promise. But as in the series itself, she was more a cardboard cut-out, a centerfold without a soul, a wasted opportunity to have an interesting life story.

After her father passed away, Shannon was left on a family island. Her stepmother treated her poorly. She was put down. She had no place in the family business. Shannon was not a hard worker because her old life had been handed to her. Without a drive, personal goals or dreams she would wander aimlessly from bad boyfriend to bad relationship.

Lostpedia summarized her as follows:

Before the (Flight 815) crash, her father had died in a car crash and she had been cut off by her stepmother, who also refused to give her any of her father's money. She used men, especially Boone, to get what she wanted, which eventually led to a one night-stand with Boone. After the crash, she was very selfish at times, refusing to help the other survivors, as she insisted they would be rescued. However, she assisted in trying to get a signal on the transceiver, and used her French skills to translate Rousseau's signal. She also had an asthma attack when her inhaler ran out, but Sun eased her symptoms. She eventually formed a romantic relationship with Sayid which helped her realize her selfishness and led to a change in attitude. As she and Sayid went for a picnic, Boone fell out of a plane and died of injuries. After Boone died, Shannon sought revenge on John Locke, attempting to shoot him, but Sayid interfered. She eventually forgave Sayid, but began to have strange visions of Walt who she thought was on the raft. On Day 48 she ran from camp with Sayid to search for Walt; however she collided with the Tailies and was unintentionally shot in the stomach and killed by Ana Lucia Cortez after chasing another image of Walt.  She died in Sayid's arms having finally gained his confidence and belief in her. 

Many viewers did not find Shannon's character compelling; many felt that the death scene was merely an actor's clip reel (since so many of the characters would succumb in the next episodes). She was a "taker" and not a giver. She had to rely on other people (Boone, Sun, Sayid) in order to cope with the very basic daily routines most people take for granted. Her loss was not taken as a great defining moment in the series. 

Even after her death, her character drew ire from some fans. Why would a week long island affair be more important to Sayid than his lifelong quest to find his true love, Nadia? When Sayid wound up with Shannon in the after life, most fans were disillusioned because it really made no sense. Shannon had made no great leap or redemption in the sideways world to merit "a reward" of companionship in the next world. Further, it upset people that Shannon got what she wanted (a man to care for her forever) while Boone sat alone in the sideways church. Boone, the guy who cared and loved Shannon, and who died trying to get her rescued, got nothing for his effort.

It is a sad commentary that Shannon, the spoiled rich girl can be the Cinderella in the end by not doing anything.

SELF ESTEEM

There have been a few essays recently on the undercurrent of most American animated films. The broad subject matter of the main characters has been the road to capturing self-esteem. The character's life is mundane, boring, repetitive and confining in such a pigeon holed way that the character needs to dream his own bigger, brighter future.

I did not realize that the audience, American children, had such self-esteem issues. It may be why animated features on the whole are widely popular.

To be esteemed, one would need to be admired or respected by his or her peers. For self-esteem, it is confidence in one's worth and abilities. In the LOST world, those two concepts clash in the main characters. In order to have self-esteem, the characters need to be admired or respected by their peers.

For example, Locke was a haphazard grinder in real life. He bounced from job to job. He was not particularly good at anything. His boring life led him to fantasy role playing games, even as an adult. None of his supervisors admired or respected him. In turn, Locke always wanted to show other people that he was worth something. That is why he stalked his con-man father, to see why even donating a kidney did not garner him any respect or admiration from Cooper.

Kate was a flippant child. What comes around goes around. She grew up in a stable home, but lashed out for attention by trying to steal a lunchbox at the general store. She was bored with her life. She had little direction. She dreamed of doing something, but no one ever encouraged her to follow her dreams. As a result, she had a very narrow, child like view of the world. Her solution to "save" her mother was the cartoonish blow up the abusive husband. The fall out was severe: her mother reacted negatively toward her. Kate could not understand what went wrong.

Jack was clearly crippled by the lack of respect his father game him. From early childhood, Christian did not pat Jack on the back. Jack struggled to get his father to notice his accomplishments. The lack of acknowledgement from his father led Jack into repressed anger and a single minded will to "fix things." Even if his hospital peers admired his "miracle" results in the OR, Christian never did. It was that cold detachment that was the deep canyon between their father-son relationship.

The island gave the main characters an opportunity to gain some self-esteem. The survivors were given a choice: get along or die. But factions never got along. And a lot of people died.

Locke has a roller coaster ride. He reinvented himself as some outback survivalist. But instead of being admired, he was feared as being a loon. Kate was so obsessed with her past remaining a secret that she came off distant and aloof. Her  tracking and shooting skills came in handy at times, but she was never looked upon as the leader of any group. Jack was an immediate leader in the eyes of the survivors for one simple reason: he was their only doctor. He was needed to help everyone survive. He took charge immediately after the crash, barking out orders like it was an emergency room. People saw and respected his skills. They assumed that Jack meant what he said; that he a plan that would save them. But even when Jack was rewarded with the support of the group, he was quite uncomfortable in taking command. His father always knocked him down a peg when leadership issues arose in their conversations. It may have been a defense mechanism by Christian so his son would surpass his accomplishments. But it held Jack back for a long time in accepting his role as the group's ultimate leader.

It was only after Locke had died did Jack realize what Locke was trying to tell him. At that moment, Locke was finally respected by some one. Only when Kate wrangled Claire onto the Ajira plane did she fulfill her personal goal of helping save someone else instead of running away. She would earn Claire and Aaron's respect. And it was only when Jack accepted his fate to become the island guardian, to defeat MIB and release his friends to leave the island in peace, did Jack find his own self-esteem.