OBSERVATION

An observation by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. 

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. 

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. 

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. 

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. 

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

SEX

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." - - - Steve Martin.

Sex was an element in LOST but it was not truly associated with love.

Kate and Sawyer's affairs were more animal lust than true, deep passion. It was the spark of danger between people running away from their problems.

Kate and Jack's romance was more a convenience (in order to keep Aaron in LA) than a deep bond of attraction, friendship, trust and mutual respect. They may have loved each other but they were not in love with each other. 

Kate used sex as a manipulation of men to do what she needed to do to maintain her freedom.

Sawyer used sex as a means of conveying trust to one of his con artist victims.

Jack appeared to have a cold distance to sex and romance, perhaps because of the chill between his parents while he grew up. He was passionate with Sarah, his first wife, not because of her but because he promised her a miracle. She was more a trophy of his success than a real life partner. Sarah quickly understood this through Jack's jealousy of his father so she divorced Jack.

Sun quickly felt that sex with Jin was more a marital obligation than true love. Her feeling for her husband quickly changed when Jin began to change into the mirror image of her business oriented father. 

Claire and Shannon used sex as a means of finding comfort and support from men. They chose interloper boyfriends than real permanent bonds. Both paid the price for looking for an easy path to acceptance. 

Then there were a large group of sexless loners including Hurley, Daniel and Charlie. They were looking for a special woman, but could not overcome their own insecurities until they reached the island. But events took their potential lovers away from them until the reunion in the after life.

Many fans believed the only true love story in the series was the relationship between Desmond and Penny. The star-crossed lovers went back and forth; questioning their own feelings and self-worth; longing for each other when Widmore put himself between them. Then, the long search to be reunited after Desmond was lost at seas. When they were reunited, they pledged themselves to each other. Their sexual union brought forth a true family, which Desmond vowed to protect from Widmore. And it was Desmond's love for Penny that broke the barriers in the sideways world so every major character could remember their closest island bonds. It was that break that caused humanity to prevail in the sideways world.

WHAT MAKES US HAPPY?

We have gone on a little tangent, from excuses the mind gives us to this post on what people think makes them happy.

The University of Bolton (UK) decided to re-run an experiment that  originally took place in 1938.

Back then, an ad was placed in the Bolton Evening News, asking readers to respond to the age-old question, “What is happiness?” Ten options were offered where participants were instructed to rate the importance of each one. 

The  psychology professors followed in the same questions in the 1938 test.

A total of 226 people responded in 1938 and the top three happiness factors, in order, were: security, knowledge and religion. 

Eighty years later,  the top three happiness factors, in order, were: humor, leisure and security.

It is an interesting comparison:

1938: SECURITY, KNOWLEDGE, RELIGION

Today: HUMOR, LEISURE, SECURITY

Only "security" tops both lists.

In 1938, we must remember was in the midst of world turmoil. The Nazi build up in Germany, and the echos of the Great War (WWI) was still in the minds of the European nations. So security was in the forefront of everyone's mind. Also in 1938, "knowledge" as in education was the one true means of bettering oneself. The class system still had some tangled roots in England and the whole of Europe. The last 1938 element was religion, which is where many people find solace and comfort and meaning in their lives. In essence, the 1938 participants identified body, mind and soul as the means of their happiness.

Today, the news is filled with even greater world turmoil than in 1938. More nations have nuclear arms. There are terrorists attacking innocent people all over the globe. The news is mostly negative and depressing (if people actually read or view it which is decreasing among the young who are more preoccupied with technology and social media).  In industrialized modern nations, the poverty level has been raised to a point where many people are not dying on the streets. But street crime and random violence is still occurring in the streets (especially in the US). So personal security is still an issue today. But having humor to be the number one avenue to happiness is intriguing because it denotes an immediate endorphin rush. Like Pavlov's dog, humor is a button that needs to be pushed in order to bring on a laugh or smile. Some would say obsessive seeking of humor alone would mean that a person is extremely selfish, self-centered and possibly aloof to the people around them since modern comedy implores cruelty, irony and other people's misfortunes as punch lines.  More readily apparent is leisure as a means of happiness since hard working people need rest and relaxation in order to recharge their inner batteries. But leisure can only be obtained by a safety net of steady income, adequate savings, belief in good prospects ahead, in the sense of a societal normalcy and acceptance of one's life. The study found that religion came in last place in the current survey results.

The study offered a few quotes from the respondents:

“Enough money to meet everyday needs and a little for pleasure.” (1938)

“I would like a little home, not many possessions … congenial and satisfying companionship, the availability of good music and books.” (1938)

 

“Knowing that my rent is paid on time and I can afford to eat healthily.” (2014)

“Engaging in my hobbies, spending time that is free of worry … Simple things like enjoying a nice meal or receiving care and affection.” (2014)

The real interesting pull back from the study that the authors found was that the despite the  cliché, money still doesn’t seem to buy happiness after all. 

“People are realizing they can’t count on money,” said the researchers. “Just because you have a college education doesn’t mean you have a job. Just because you have a job doesn’t mean it’s going to last or you’ll be able to have everything you want with that money. So the average person has learned that just because you work hard, have an education or have training doesn’t mean you’ll have money—or even enough money. But let’s be honest—some people’s leisure activities are going to be expensive, so they’re going to need the money!”

The authors see a shift in priorities from the two studies as a favorable one. “These findings fit with everyone I speak to now. People are all about figuring out what truly makes them happy. And I think this is a really positive spin.” 

It is the desire of every human being to find happiness.  To be happy means a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment; having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation);  satisfied with the quality or standard of someone or something. The elements of happiness in one's life is needed to balance out the bad times that everyone encounters on their journeys.