THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES

Business Insider had an interesting article about the 14 lies our mind tells ourselves which actually hurts us by constantly tries to convince us not to take actions we know are good for us, and stops many great changes in our lives.

It is such a true statement most people do not realize that it is happening to them.

I stumbled across this article by accident. It fits in extremely well into this year's personal motto: "No Excuses. No Regrets." 

The BI author's proposition is that the cowardly mind’s excuses and rationalizations is self programmed because the mind wants comfort, and is afraid of discomfort and change. The mind is used to its comfort cocoon, and anytime we try to push beyond that comfort zone very far or for very long, the mind tries desperately to get back into the cocoon. At any cost, including our long-term health and happiness.

The article then details 14 "mind" excuses which stops a person from acting outside the sheltered norms:

1. I can’t do it
If something seems too hard, we default to decide not to change. It is a manifestation that we don’t believe in ourselves.

2. He/she can do it, but that doesn’t apply to me 
We look for reasons other people can do or accomplish things  but we can’t — a negative reinforcement that we are somehow "different" for an unknown reason.

3. I need my ___
W fill in the blank with a variety of crutches: I need my coffee, my cheese, my soda, my TV shows, my car, my shoe collection … these are things we convince ourselves we can’t live without, so we can’t make a change like exercising, eating healthier, starting a hobby, reading a long book, taking a vacation, or  simplifying our lives. If one really examines those excuses, they are justifications for all  lies. The only things you really need are basic food, water, clothing, shelter, and other people for social needs. Everything else is not a real need.

4. Life is meant to be enjoyed
Everyone agrees with this statement  but the problem is this is used to justify all kinds of crappy behavior. Might as well scarf down junk food because it tastes good, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right? No. You can do without junk food and still enjoy life. You can exercise and enjoy it. You can give up pretty much anything and still enjoy life, if you learn to see almost any activity as enjoyable.

5. I need comfort
As young children, they cling to a security blanket because it gives them the sense of relief and comfort. However, as we grow older we have can push ourselves into uncomfortable situations so that we can learn to believe in ourselves.

6. I don’t know how
This may be true, but everyone can learn. Start with a little at a time, and learn how to deal with this new change. If the problem is that you are a social wall flower, you can do some research online. There are various websites that examine social anxiety.  Ask people how they dealt with it. This is easily overcome with a little effort and practice. In fact, if you do it now, and learn a little at a time, then you’ll be able to do away with this pesky excuse.

7. I can do it later
You can always put off to tomorrow what you can accomplish today. But why should your later self be more disciplined than your current self? A habit of procrastination and actually making is less likely that your future self will be more disciplined. Unless there’s something more urgent or important that you need to do … don’t let yourself slide just because you don’t feel like it. It will lead to more stress and pressure as you create a personal traffic jam of uncompleted tasks or goals.

8. One time won’t hurt
This is so tempting, because it’s kind of true — one time won’t hurt. Assuming, that is, that it’s only one time. One bite of chocolate cake, one missed workout, one time procrastinating instead of doing work. Unfortunately, it’s never actually just one time. One time means your brain now knows it can get away with this excuse, and the next “one time” leads to another, until you’re not actually sticking to something.

9. I don’t feel like it
Feelings can be a defense mechanism. There is an internal resistance to doing something that we think is hard, difficult, new, or potentially hurtful. Letting the excuse of “I’ll do it when feel like it” dictate your life means you’ll never go out and meet new people, learn about new things, write that great American novel you dreamed of as a kid, never build a business, never create anything great, never have healthy habits. It is easy to create a plan that’s doable, and then execute it.

10. I’m tired
Everyone gets tired on a daily basis. It is the biological cycle. We allow that cycle to macro-manage tasks into pigeon holes. When you get home from a long day at work (they call it work for a reason), you may not feel like cooking, cleaning or exercising. You would rather "rest,"  but this is usually the mind trying to weasel out of something uncomfortable. There’s a difference between being exhausted and needing some rest, and being the little tired we all feel every afternoon. One way to combat this is to multitask - - - for example, exercise while watching TV. You may trick your mind that watching TV is relaxing while you accomplish something important off the couch.

11. I deserve a reward/break 
Daily life presents us with many risk and reward situations. But not every completed tasks deserve a reward.  But if you don't curb this rationalization your rule, you’ll always be on a break. You’ll always be giving yourself rewards, and never sticking to the original plan to get a more meaningful reward such as a job well done is its own reward.

12. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop?
This is our mind wanting to run from discomfort, and of course it’s true — it would be nice to stop if you’re pushing into a discomfort zone for too long. The thing is, the implication is that it would be better to stop, because it would be nice … but that’s a lie. It would be easier to stop, but often it’s better to continue pushing through to the end goal. 

13. The result you’re going for isn’t important
Your mind is already sabotaging a goal that you have set for yourself.  If you stick with a process that will be better for you in the long run, then you will be better off. But if you let yourself go just because you are uncomfortable and at this moment care more for your comfort than the goal you set out for, you’ll have lots of problems. The goal isn’t important, but learning to stick to things when you’re uncomfortable is extremely important. For example, if  you’re trying to run a marathon, in the middle of it you may think “It’s not that important that I finish this" because of the pain and effort required to finish. And while the result might not be that important, the truth is that the process and the goal is very important to bolster one's self-worth, self-esteem and peace of mind.

14. I’m afraid
Now, this is the most honest excuse there is — most of us don’t want to admit we’re afraid to pursue something difficult. But it’s also a weaselly way out of discomfort — just because you’re afraid doesn’t mean you can’t do something. For example, Deipnophobia is the fear of dinner party conversations. How do you overcome that fear? You go to parties where you know a few good friends and learn to mingle. When trying something new, everyone worries about failure.  The fear of failure is an early learned experience. Failure has negative connotations in society. But some of the smartest, richest and happy people on Earth will tell you that before success they failed over and over again. It is learning from failure that breeds success. And confidence is the one trait that can extinguish many or all of the mind excuses which holds us back.

JACK WAS NOT A DOCTOR

Jack was not a medical doctor. He was never a great spinal surgeon. He never saved Sarah. It was all a lie or illusion.

Jack's back story is that of an incredibly talented surgeon. In 2001, Sarah's spine was severely crushed, and Jack told her she would never walk again. This bluntness bothered Christian. Sarah's fiance responded superficially upon hearing her condition, and Jack overstepped his professional relationship with Sarah, promising "to fix" her. He initially believed he failed, but a stadium runner named Desmond  suggested he may not have. Jack tearfully informed Sarah of his failure. She then wiggled her toes, and Jack realized he'd fixed her. The problem is that medical science would not have allowed such a miracle to happen. One cannot reconnect severed nerves.

In July of 2004, a nurse observed Jack's  intoxicated father botch a surgery. She called in Jack, who failed to save the patient. Christian asked he sign a falsified death report absolving him of blame, and though Jack initially refused, he later agreed. He then saw his father console the deceased woman's husband, who was threatening legal action, and learned the woman was pregnant when she died. Jack revised his statement, blaming his father's drinking for the patients' death. This cost Christian his medical license. In reality, Jack's conduct also would have cost him his medical license due to unprofessional conduct and malpractice under strict California regulations.

So Jack's back story is highly suspect. However, he could have "believed" that this happened to him because of the inner, subconscious desire to be "better" than his father, so Christian would acknowledge him. But if Jack as a boy was driven to prove himself to his father, but failed because he lacked the talent or will, then one could assume that would lead Jack down a dark path, emotionally and psychologically.  It could have led him into depression, drugs and alcoholism.

On the island, "miracle doctor" Jack had a horrible track record. Jack could not save the Marshall, Boone, Shannon or Sayid.  He refused to help an injured Colleen, which violates his oath as a physician. Beyond basic first aid, Jack really did not perform any highly skilled medical miracles on the island.

But it was his conduct with Ben's medical problem that is a real issue. Jack's review of Ben's spinal x-ray was wrong. The tumor was diagnosed on the wrong lumbar number. He later incorrectly stated that Ben's symptoms would be in his fingers and toes. Such symptoms are generally characteristic of cervical tumors - in the neck, not lower back (which would be toes only). Then when Jack now agreed to operate on Ben,  he deliberately cut Ben's kidney sack during the surgery, which based on the state of the OR and lack of personnel and blood, would have killed Ben, especially after he woke up during the surgery!

So what about the two different "versions" of Jack? The pre-island miracle doctor vs. the ordinary man on the island.

It could be argued that the pre-island version of Jack was Jack's own ego. A dream, fantasy, a mental condition of greatness because Jack could not equal his father's accomplishments. This puts Jack as a candidate for the theories that the LOST premise was all made up in the mind of a mental patient, or at least someone trapped in their own deep fantasy world.

It would stand to reason then that the pre-island back stories could also not be true. They could be the fantasies of the characters - - - such as Kate murdering her abusive father. She never did it; but she thought about it. The same would be true for Sawyer. He never became a con man to track down his parents killer.

But that still opens the question of whether the island was "real" or part of an imaginary, collective community dream (or massive on-line game, the latter being characteristic for all the "loners" in the series). Assuming that Jack landed on the island under his own cover of being a doctor, it is odd that no one challenged him when he made medical mistakes. Was everyone else naive, scared or plain dumb? Or, again in a game setting, it really did not matter. You chose your own character.

The idea that Jack was not really a doctor is intriguing because it opens up other avenues of investigation into the unanswered mysteries. If one part of the LOST experience was not "real" in the sense of actual events (such as Jack's back story), that may help explain the massive continuity errors in island events. It could also give us a clue to the basic premise of the show.

LITTLE MAN COMPLEX

“ There are but two powers in the world, the sword and the mind. In the long run the sword is always beaten by the mind. ” - - - Napoleon Bonaparte

A Napoleon complex is one of self-absorbed grandeur.  Some psychoanalysis of Bonaparte claim that his small stature but high dream expectations led him to become a tyrannical monster hell bent on conquering all of Europe. Great historical figures often have grand visions of their legacy. What better way to be remembered than enslaving an entire continent?

There were two characters who fall into the emperor category of conquest and control: Ben and Widmore.

Widmore was not a small man. He had apparently grown up on the island. He knew it contained serious power source. He wanted to control it for his own ambitions. He was once the leader of the Others, the self-proclaimed guardians of the island. Whether Widmore knew of or believed in Jacob is unclear. He had a relationship with a powerful woman, Eloise Hawking, and had a brilliant academic son, Daniel. But it was his lust for power and privilege that got Widmore expelled - - - his crime was having a child off the island (Penny) with another unknown woman. Why the island would have such a moral barometer on an out-of-wedlock daughter while allowing the Others to kidnap and kill visitors makes no logical sense. But being LOST, logic or common sense are not necessary elements in any story line.

Once forced to leave the island, Widmore used his ego and talents to build up a vast business empire. But that empire was only a means of gaining enough power to find his island and reclaim it. Widmore's quest was to return to the island, and get revenge on the man who kicked him off it: Ben.

Ben was a small man. His small size fits into the Napoleon grandeur of over-compensating for an inferiority complex. Ben did not have a good childhood. He had no close friends. His father blamed him for his mother's death at childbirth. He was lonely. He dreamed that people would look up at him in awe and fear. He wanted to control his own destiny. He wanted to rebel against the Dharma lock-step. He still had a measure of compassion when he did not kill Alex or her mother Rousseau even though Widmore had ordered it as part of Ben's initiation. Instead, Ben took baby Alex under his care and control. Perhaps this was his first lesson in turning an adverse situation into an advantage.

Both Widmore and Ben were clever in making other people do their dirty business. They both had elaborate plans to get what they wanted from other people. Ben used psychological mind games to confuse then submit people to his will. Ben became frustrated and angry when people, especially women, did not follow his orders.

When Ben got to the leadership role he wanted, he ruled like a tyrant. It was his way or the highway. In that way, even though he was a "bad" character, he was a compelling character. There is a part of human nature that would lash out like Ben did because of his back story. There is always an inner demon that burns to be liked and loved by other human beings; but when that does not happen - - - one becomes bitter, angry and more controlling over people around him.

 Ben was the most complex character. He went through the rollercoaster of being good (as a boy) to bad (as an adult) to at least repented as a dead soul.

THE BIG LIE

LOST was hailed as the best written and filmed show in its television era. Fans expected a the intertwined mysteries to unwind in a tight script of revelations and satisfying conclusions. To say there were stumbles along the way would be an understatement.

The biggest problem was with the biggest lie.

Recall, Daniel is sitting in his chair watching television when the news breaks that searchers had found the remains of Flight 815 at the bottom of the ocean. There were no survivors. Robotic cameras showed footage of the wreckage.

Recall, Naomi parachuted onto the island from the Widmore freighter. She told the 815ers she met that Flight 815 had been found - - - that there were no survivors - - - they were all dead.

Later, we were told that Widmore "faked" the Flight 815 crash site in order to "hide" the island. Except there are several problems with that lie within a lie. First, every aircraft has detailed serial numbers on its parts. One cannot buy one and change the parts IDs. It was totally implausible for a fake wreckage to be made with an actual plane because each plane is also registered in the U.S. Second, if the plane and bodies were found, the authorities would have recovered them for the sake of closure for the families. The impossible explanation was that Widmore dug up 248 graves to deposit bodies on his fake wreckage. Third, the freighter captained showed us the alleged black boxes from Flight 815. However, if they were recovered, they would never have been released to a private individual. The FAA and government would have kept them as evidence. So none of the "fake" plane wreck is real.

But the real kicker is that after the world wide Flight 815 found story was the Oceanic
Six showing up in Hawaii. If the plane wreck footage found all passengers and crew on board died, then how did six survivors wind up in Hawaii? The passenger manifest cannot be altered to add five more people after the fact. Further, when Kate was arrested in Sydney, the authorities would have noticed whether or not she was pregnant (as she alleged in the press conference). None of the O6 story arc made sense.

The reasoning behind Widmore's elaborate plans, including the extermination of everyone on the island, was also flawed beyond belief. There was no reason for the O6 people coming back to the island. If Widmore wanted to keep it a secret, that was already done when the island "moved" prior to the O6 rescue. The O6 people did not know where the island was; and more importantly, the world had stopped looking for the wreckage because it had been "found."

And there was no reason for Jack to concoct the Lie that the O6 were the only survivors of the plane crash. The miracle that the five survived the crash and washed ashore on an unchartered island was enough to "verify" the Widmore lie where the wreckage site was located and found. The exact opposite should have been said - - - to save their friends left behind the O6 should have mounted a public rescue effort to beat Widmore back to the island.

And the reason why the O6 or Widmore had to come back to the island was unclear. The O6 wanted to come back for the vague notion of saving their friends - - - but they did not know whether they were alive or not. Widmore wanted to protect the island by killing everyone on it. But if everyone was to be eliminated or exterminated on the island, there would be no protectors left.

In fact, only one person had the means to actually find the lost island: Eloise. If one really wanted to protect the island from outsiders, all you had to do was take out Eloise.

So, none of the elaborate lies makes any sense, individually or as a scripted collaboration of plot points.

THE BIG LIE

One of the reasons that LOST's show runners no longer wish to talk about their breakthrough series quietly came to light last year. The original pitch and writer's guide for the series leaked into cyberspace. It may be why the producers will no longer field questions about the series.

There is an old adage that medical doctors bury their mistakes. The same could be true for The Powers That Be behind LOST. By twisting the plot to create a situation where all the characters are DEAD in the End basically eliminates any possibility for a sequel. Any sequel would have to explain the original, but TPTB never wanted or never could explain the original.

The producers and writers suddenly found themselves with a hit series. The hook that drew viewers into the show was a diverse cast of plane crash survivors on a mysterious island. So TPTB continued to throw out more and more mysteries to keep the show on the air. In essence, the writers created their own pyramid scheme of unanswered questions that continued to pile up so viewers would begin to forget them. Just like all deceptive cons, the weight of The Big Lie will eventually collapse the foundation of credibility of the entire scheme.

ABC had concerns about the show and how it would unwind its mysteries. ABC wanted to make sure that the viewers were going to get what was promised to them: answers to the mysteries. The hippest show on television was going to be so creatively brilliant that the network would have no worries.

/Film interviewed Damon Lindelof who was not happy this document leaked online. This “series format” was never meant for public eyes as its sole purpose was to prove to ABC and its viewers that had to prove to its viewers: that this show was not just scripted Survivor but  a viable show with a long shelf life.

Lindelof explained to /Film that during production of the pilot, a team of writers was tasked with coming up with ideas for the long run of the show, proving it had longevity. After nine weeks of hard work, this document was the result. And it worked. ABC picked up the show, which never would have happened without this document. However, once those writers got to writing the actual series, many of these ideas got thrown away.

This working series format document is more than 20 pages. It made points that sold the series to ABC Network.

• The document claims the show will be self-contained and not have a serialized structure. “We promise.”
• It says the show won’t fit into one specific “franchise,” but instead can be many genres, such as a doctor show, lawyer show, cop show or character drama.
• Everything in Lost was supposed to have a scientific explanation.
• Claims the show will have no “ultimate mystery.”
• The mystery of “the monster” would be solved in “the first few episodes.”
• Most of the plane’s passengers were never supposed to show up again.
• The characters would live in a “primitive Melrose Place” that could be built on a sound stage.
• Guest stars would be a part of the show.

Once the show was picked up by ABC, the producers trashed the series format document. But many of the show's network promises turned up to be straight up lies.

What is unanswered is why, after the work put into the sales pitch document, did the producers abandon those main story points and promises?