SOCIAL MEDIA THEORY

It's something everyone suspected, but now it's official: The under-30 crowd is addicted to their cell phones.


Those are the findings of a new survey, which showed that as millennials spend more time engaged on social media platforms, it's causing them to be less social in real life. The study, conducted by Flashgap, a photo-sharing application with more than 150,000 users, found that 87 percent of millennials admitted to missing out on a conversation because they were distracted by their phone.


Meanwhile, 54 percent said they experience a fear of missing out if not checking social networks.

Nearly 3,000 participants were asked about how they felt about social media in social settings, and found that the guiltiest culprits are often females. The study found 76 percent of females check social media platforms at least 10 times when out with friends, compared with 54 percent of males.


The most commonly used apps mentioned in social settings among millennials were Snapchat, Tinder, Facebook, Messenger and Instagram.


Julian Kabab, co-founder of FlashGap said that people are too focused on looking at social media when they're out at events, and it may be costing them in social interaction. "People miss out on parties because they want to see what's going on, on social networks, take beautiful selfies and add filters to their pictures," he told CNBC.


It especially becomes a problem when there is alcohol involved and regrets the next morning. The survey found that 71 percent of users regret posting a picture on a social network after more than three drinks.

FlashGap's findings echo a similar study conducted in 2014, where research suggested that cell phones were increasingly undermining personal interactions.  A West Virginia University report said that "the presence of mobile technologies has the potential to divert individuals from face-to-face exchanges, thereby undermining the character and depth of these connections." 


Concerns are growing that the practical impact of mobile device use is making humans more interested in their online lives, and less interested in each other. Yet Kebab told CNBC his intent for FlashGap was to help millenials make their experiences more relevant in real life.


One of the reasons so many young people are drawn into social media circles is that they have less and less real interaction with their peers. If they are on a school sports team, they practice and play everyday so there is little to no time to interact with other kids. If they are study demons, they have little time to interact with anyone except their study group. The ease of quick instant messaging has eased the vacuum of forced scheduling of student lives has on their socialization.


One LOST fan theory was that the entire premise of the show was that it was really a fantasy, social media exchange between lonely, distant, strangers. The elements of this premise were part of the overall fabric of the show. The hook ups were cold and not meaningful like sexting. The friendships were at times impersonal to rude like commentators to trolls commenting on a personal blog. Opinion was more important than actual, verified facts which is a common complaint of the internet.


Another recent report shows that teenagers now spend approximately 9 hours each day using electronic devices. That is a staggering amount of small screen time away from doing normal things like going outside, riding a bicycle, going to a movie, hanging out at the park with friends, etc. They spend more time on their smart technology than in school or sleeping. So this technology is soaking up much of their conscious time it has to affect their dream time - - - or supplants it.


And that could be the engine for the LOST story lines, haphazard, changing, conflicting and fantasy dream constructs that led to a quick turn happy ending that most individuals want in their own stories.

LONELINESS ANSWER

One of the major themes in LOST was loneliness. Many of the major characters were traditional loners. Why people are lonely has lead to many research and literary articles. As a society and community, we believe that human beings need social interaction in order to live well-rounded lives.

There are times that some people need their "alone" time. Introverts actually need this lonely time in order to re-energize themselves for future tasks that make them uncomfortable, including work and social settings.

We may sometimes try to convince ourselves that we'd be better off if we remained alone, but why do people decide to stay lonely? New York Magazine published an article examines that question and discovers a surprising explanation.  

There are  health issues that arise from being lonely. In fact, "loneliness increases a person's risk of mortality by 26 percent, an effect comparable to the health risks posed by obesity, according to a study published this spring." Loneliness can also lead to mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.

With these risks, why would one choose to be lonely? As NY Mag notes, "One long-held theory has been that people become socially isolated because of their poor social skills and, presumably, as they spend more time alone, the few skills they do have start to erode from lack of use." 

However, with the help of recent studies, this is a big misconception. It's not that lonely people lack social skills or can't understand them; rather, when expected to use them they "choke." 

Professor Megan L. Knowles of Franklin and Marshall College conducted an experiment in order to find out why this happens. In her research,  Knowles led four experiments that demonstrated "lonely people's tendency to choke when under social pressure." 

In one experiment, Knowles and her team tested the social skills of 86 undergraduates, showing them 24 faces on a computer screen and asking them to name the basic human emotion each face was displaying: anger, fear, happiness,  or sadness.
 

When put to the test, lonely participants did much better than their non-lonely counterparts. However, this was only the case when the lonely participants were told they were taking a general knowledge test.
 

Why would lonely people be better at reading emotions than non-lonely people? It's believed that "lonely people may be paying closer attention to emotional cues precisely because of their ache to belong somewhere and form interpersonal connections, which results in technically superior social skills," according to the study.
 

So, lonely people actually don't want to be lonely — it's their desire to belong that causes them to seem like they lack social skills. They know how to be social, but they're too concerned about choosing the correct social cues to make a good impression.
 

Who would want to feel this pressure all the time? This is exactly why some people prefer to keep to themselves. Perhaps, it is just easier not to confront and control your own inner turmoil.

It may come down to confidence in themselves. Many people fear that they will say or do the wrong thing, upset other people or look foolish to strangers. Or, they may believe that people will not like them for who they are. But all people have those same fears and anxieties. It is becoming self-aware of your issues, then overcoming them through experience and growing a close group of friends that you respect, trust and who will mutually support each other.