CHANGE

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny. — Paulo Coelho

Change is a difficult concept to comprehend. People are creatures of habit. We tend to have self-loathing aspects to our daily routine. Some call this personal introversion of suffering just life. Deal with it. One can scuttle along with their own dark cloud overhead without any one else noticing it. And if they do, they claim it is your own choice to live an unhappy, unfulfilled, unrewarding life. You created your own situation. Only you yourself can correct it.

It is hard life lesson that many people will avoid. They would rather keep the comfort of their miserable surroundings than risk the unknown that material change could bring. If one has lived in a bad place for so long, he only thinks that bad things will happen - - - even in change. The bad misery is his destiny. It is his fate. It is his demise.

There is nothing harder than getting out of one's rut to do something different. And even if one tries a little, in a short time one reverts back to the old mean. The classic example of this is dieting. People know they should avoid fast food, eat healthy, avoid fatty foods and alcohol. But those temptations are so easily accessible. The pleasure sensors in our brain find joy in consuming such unhealthy fare. So even when one realizes that change is needed, it is first the toe dip in the pool. Then it may be a small baby steps of substituting something good for something bad. You get on a program to help you along, but programs are like nagging mothers and one drowns them out after a while. You get on an exercise routine until some other activity, such as work, becomes a timely excuse to cut back on the exercise. And then suddenly, the downward spiral is back to the beginning. Some people would justify it as "that's the way things are supposed to be." Others will be depressed by the failure, which reinforces the anti-change thoughts they will have in the future.

It is only through trusted positive reinforcement will one latch on to change to make it work. Families are the hardest critics. They have the harshest words when things are not best. But, at the same time, their compliments hold more water than a stranger's, like a paid fitness instructor who says "good job" after every feeble station on the universal machine.

Why so many LOST characters never changed in the series is simple: they had no trusted person who would give them positive reinforcement in order to seek change. All the main characters had flaws and broken spirits. They were all pigeon-holed into a way of life that some of them resented to the fullest of their internal mental faculties. More and more they would recede into their own private worlds. There was some comfort to shut out the outside world, including your naggy family, to be left alone. 

But loneliness is one of the worst aspects of life. It puts some on the same mental level as inanimate objects like stones. They are mere background set pieces to the people around them who seem happy, energetic . . . alive. The farther one seeps into the shadows, the less likely it is that they will even recognize other people's happiness. This is where they become totally lost in their own dark angst.

And that is why LOST ended on a shadowy thud. The main characters did not have a moral, ethical, or spiritual upheaval and change in personality that made any sort of difference in how the various story lines ended in the sideways church. Their actions had no consequence in the big picture. They were all pretty miserable at the beginning through to the end. There was no real change in the characters, even though the TPTB still claim that the series was all about a character study. The main characters merely showed up for the cast wrap party reunion.