CONFIDENCE

I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
In a poker game, a small "tell" can give another player the "big picture" of what cards his opponent may have - - -  that gives someone confidence and the strength to move forward.

Confidence means:

the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something;
the state of feeling certain about the truth of something;
a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities; or
the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.

Trust was one of the pronounced themes of LOST. Characters constantly asked each other whether "they trusted" them or their decisions. Some said yes, some said no, and some lied to gain one's trust.

Beyond the hard core daddy or parent issues of the main back stories,  the main characters did have major unresolved "trust issues" to resolve. For example:

Jack did not trust his father. He even suspected that his father was behind the break up of his marriage to Sarah. Jack came to distrust his father's skills as a surgeon. That was the focal point for the severe break in their relationship.

Kate apparently trusted no one but herself. She got other people, mostly boys and men, to trust her, but in the end those trusts were betrayed in the most tragic ways.

Locke had a history of being "too trusting" of other people, who used him as a scapegoat, a mule and a victim. Locke was aware of his own character flaw, but could not change. He became a bitter and angry man - - - which ruined any chance to have a normal life. His need to have a trusting relationship with his father destroyed his relationship with Helen.

Sawyer used the concept of trust to gain an advantage in conning his marks. But he fell and trusted one of his victims, and that put him on the path of normalcy (with the birth of his daughter) rather than his path of revenge. When he trusted an old friend's information about his parent's killer's location, that trust turned Sawyer into a cold blooded murderer.

Hurley could not trust even himself. He knew that he was finding solace in food when his father left him, but he could not stop himself. He could not trust himself to act rationally. He trusted other people, including his mother, to make decisions on his behalf.

Sayid trusted that his superiors would make the right decisions. But once he was put into personal moral conflicts, he began not to trust himself. He knows it is wrong to follow the path of darkness, and he betrays himself when he continues to torture and kill other people.

But on the other hand, event those with trust issues held themselves out in a confident manner.

Jack was quite confident (really, overconfident) in his abilities. He was quite uneasy in the position of leadership, but his medical skill confidence (the count to five stress release) allowed him to become the leader of the group.

Sawyer was always about showing confidence, almost in a reckless manner. He may have relied on instincts and the cleverness of a fox to charm the pants off of his marks. His confidence was part and parcel with being able to control the situation: create the ideal situation (the set up) to run his game (which had become second nature to him).

Sayid was also confident because of his military training. He was aware that he could defend himself at any cost. He was aware that his analytical skills could get him out of troublesome situations.

On the other hand, Hurley lacked the most confidence. He was shy and meek. He avoided confrontation. He would go out of his way to avoid trouble. He was not a risk taker. He felt that things happened to him - - - he was cursed, the unluckiest man on Earth.

Kate also lacked confidence in herself. That was the result of her bad decisions and her inability to take accountability for her bad actions. Since she had no control over her life, she lacked any confidence in herself to change to become a normal person. She tried once, marrying a police man in Florida, but at the first sign of her troubled past catching up to her, she fled like a scared mouse.

So there were various undercurrents of confidence and lack of confidence throughout the main characters. In some ways, several characters sought validation for their trust issues. Others could never truly cope with gaining any level of confidence or trust in their fellow man or woman. They (especially Hurley) always found doom around the corner.

Jack always had some level of personal confidence. So when he became the next island guardian, that was no real surprise. He accepted it by default since the other candidates stood silent after Jacob's campfire chat. It is not really clear that the other candidates even trusted Jack would accomplish the plan to kill Flocke. Sawyer, for one, made haste to get back to the plane to get off the island. Kate could have made the greatest character change if she trusted herself completely and stayed with Jack on the island, but she did not - - - she ran away not relying upon her true feelings.

It is possible that regret and not confidence or trust was the universal bond between the main characters in the after life. Confidence alone cannot explain the motivations and actions of the characters throughout the series. Hurley did not have the confidence to replace Jack as guardian; he had to have a strong crutch in Ben by his side. And what was the final resolution for Jack? His meeting with his father did not resolve any trust issues per se. His reunion with Kate may have offered him a third chance with her. Why Kate chose the after life to bond with Jack is also a mystery because there were other men in her life that she had deeper emotional connections. Jack and Kate had trust issues on and off the island. But if the island was the high point of her life, then regret that she abandoned Jack could explain why they were together in the end.