MAN'S BEST FRIEND

How canines became man's best friend is one of evolution's great mysteries. Dogs are essentially domesticated wild animals. But at some point, mankind and dogs connected at a family level.

There had to be a mutual benefit. For a small family unit of hunter-gatherers, a dog with its keen senses, could help with safety and security of the camp against other wild animals or attacks from other clans. A dog could also be useful in the hunt to gather food. A dog could also be a comforting companion in the camp when the men were aware foraging for food or shelter materials. Dogs could also give the children a sense of love and play that we often see in nature specials with various canine pups.

From a dog's perspective, becoming part of a human family had its benefits as well. Humans were the top predator and dogs have an innate sense of hierarchy structure. Canines also have the instinct to bond with other members of their pack in a family structure of mutual support and protection. Those values are similar to those in the human family unit. That is why dogs and humans get along so well.

They may be different but at some core level they are the same.

In today's modern society, dogs continue to play an important role in people's lives. Dogs do provide a sense of security against strange noises in the middle of the night (especially if you are a single woman). Dogs do provide owners with unconditional loyalty and affection. Dogs also provide their owners with a sense of balance in their daily lives; a diversion against the normal grind. People need to impart themselves in a tangible way in order to feel good about themselves. Dog owners are kind, giving, generous and supportive of their pet's needs. A dog gives in return a non-judgmental, pure and unconditional love that feeds a personal's emotional state (heart and soul).

Dog owners tend to live healthier lives. According to WebMD, households who have pets have less frequency of allergies or breathing ailments.  Pet owners tend to have more opportunity for social engagements as they walk their dogs in parks. From a physical standpoint, pets require their owners to exercise more (through walks and household play).

Pet owners are far less likely to suffer from depression than those without pets. The benefit is especially pronounced when people are strongly attached to their pets, according to several studies.

People in high stress positions or had high blood pressure who had pets had less stress and lower blood pressure than did people without pets. People in stress mode get a burst of harmful chemicals like cortisol and norepinephrine can negatively affect the immune system. Some of these chemicals are linked to plaque buildup in arteries which is a precondition for heart disease.

Like any enjoyable activity, playing with a dog can elevate levels of serotonin and dopamine -- nerve transmitters that are known to have pleasurable and calming properties. Therefore, dogs have a natural healing element with the relationship with their owners. Dogs allow owners to have a sense of balance, purpose and a better quality of life than those without pets.

Human beings are social animals. Men and women need relationships in order be complete and fulfilled in their lives. Dogs and pets are not a full substitute for a lasting pair bond, but dogs do elevate the happiness factor in a person's life.

In LOST, Vincent was Walt's dog but in reality he was everyone's dog. He was a wandering presence throughout the island who would attach himself to anyone who really needed an unspoken friend. He was there when Walt lost his mother. He was there when Shannon lost her brother. He was there to silently comfort Jack in the end when Jack closed his eyes in the bamboo field for the final time.

A dog is a valued member of a family. When we lose a pet, we lose a family member. There is sadness. There is grief. Perhaps that is another basic reason man brought dogs into their family was to teach their children the cycle of life and death since pets lived shorter lives than men and women. The takeaway is that pets enrich and fulfill people's lives in an uncompromising way. And when they are gone, they are never forgotten. Their inner strength, affection and friendship is what remains forever in a dog owner's heart.

THE TRUE RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are tricky.  We all have been through the complex, irrational, emotional and rewarding roller coaster of life that is partnering with a special person to share experiences and memories. Relationships are like fires: some burn hot and bright then cool to embers while others are slow and steady rich and smokey affairs of the heart.

There are a few key components that bring men and women together.

Attraction tops the key element list. Physical attraction is the first cue because it is the first thing a person sees in another person. The outward appearance of a potential mate is an evolutionary mental instinct that overrides logic or intelligence. It can be the unspoken bond - - - the initial deep eye contact which some writers call the gateway to another person's soul.

Compatibility is another element. One can be physically attracted to another person, but if the couple does not share mutual interests, have similar morals, have similar goals in life - - - or nothing of substance to talk about - - - their relationship will have a weak foundation. There are some people who get together just for the sexual passion of being with another person with no long term commitment or expectations.

Respect and trust is another element that comes with time. A couple needs to have sufficient time to get to know each other. At a certain point, a person will let down their personal "guard," the space or barrier that keeps outsiders away from that person's inner secrets and desires. Once a person has the respect and trust of another, there is an inherit measure of safety and security that helps cement a true bond of friendship.

Friendship is another key element. Friendship is defined as the the emotions or conduct of friends; a closeness between friends; and  a state of mutual trust and support between people.  There is an odd split when it comes to friendship. Some believe experience teaches us that lovers can become friends while there is a barrier that friends cannot become lovers. Whether that concept was placed in small human villages as a means of stopping fights between males is better left to an anthropologist's thesis. But in our modern world, there is no reason why men and women who have a true bond of friendship could bloom into lovers.

For the happiest couples often say that their mate is "their best friend."  The person who supports them, helps them make decisions, shares life experiences, and is there for the good times and the bad times.

Perhaps that is why many viewers could not see Kate winding up with Jack at the end of LOST. The traditional means of love were backward in their relationship.

The male audience was smitten with Kate when she first appeared on camera. She was the perky, cute, American girl-next-door icon. She was feisty, reckless, witty, and fun. Men were immediately attracted to her. And Kate knew this; she used her charms to her advantage to control men - - - from getting them close to pushing them away.

When she had her quick affair with Sawyer, it was animal lust as they were caged at the Dharma research facility. Both of them never had had a lasting relationship; they used people to their advantage in a cold, con-artist manner. Some believe Kate's actions with Sawyer was only to get Jack to save Ben (the deal she made on the beach) by forsaking any feelings towards her (such as protecting her against the Others). But Kate's relationship continued with Sawyer in the beach camp until she got to close to his secrets (the letter he wrote as a child). As such, Sawyer and Kate split.

Throughout the jungle missions, Kate was always in the background supporting Jack. There were only a few times she sided with some one else, like Locke, but overall Jack could "count" on her. But there was always a hint of trust issues. Jack knew her criminal secret, but he did not care since he believed (rightly so) that the island was a chance for everyone to start fresh with a new beginning.

Relationships are new beginnings. It is an opportunity to discard the past, learn from one's mistakes, and look for the traits that will bring out the best traits in yourself and in your partner.

So when you look at Kate sitting next to Jack in the sideways church, one could think they were never meant for each other but on the other hand their island experience and friendship was so intense and strong that deserved to wind up together.

TO HIS OWN DRUMBEAT

"If a man does not keep pace with his companion, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer"? - - - Henry David Thoreau

Companionship is the keystone to the foundation of human relationships.

It is often taken for granted by couples.

One's compassion and passion are the mortar that sets companionship to the solid foundation of the relationship.

In all of the LOST relationships, only one truly met the requirement for a lasting love affair: Rose and Bernard.  All the rest of the main characters were missing some real compassion or passion for their partner. For example, Sayid may have felt sympathy for Shannon after losing Boone, and had a passionate spark for her, but Shannon's M.O. was to find a man, anyone, who would support her. Her only asset was her good looks. That was not a solid relationship in any sense of the term.

The same goes for Jack and Kate. Kate used her charm to bounce around from man to man in order to get something from him: protection, money, a hideout, or escape. Jack did not seem to have the passion to hold on to Kate, and Kate was never head over heels in love with Jack during their island time. If she was, she would have never left a bleeding Jack after they defeated MIB/Flocke.

Besides Rose and Bernard, the main characters of the show walked to their own drummers because they were loners, lost in their own fears, self-esteem issues and social awkwardness that stunts human growth.